Judge — October 1, 1898 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

TO AN AUTUMN LEAF. [ GAZE on thee, oh autumn leaf. How like thou art to man! The long green was thine own in truth When summer first began. But now, when fled those joyous days, ‘And winds begin to grieve, Thy fate and man’s are just the same— ‘Thy trunk thou hast to | Mc LANDA DIDN’T GET HER SHARE. Mrs, Newcomd (as she puts down the family paper, fondly to her husband)—“ Oh, Herbert, if I could only read such a lovely obituary notice in the paper about you as Uve just read about a man down in Pitts- ton! Somehow, blessings seem to me aw- fully unevenly divided nowadays.” Photo, by Halt. JUDGE'S FAVORITES. < PAULINE TRAIN, Nay, nay, Pauline! ‘tis not dispraise, In the fashion of these days, Tobe hales for what you ate— Av“cuntinuous” twinkling star Whether you rise or not, you will Blevate the vaudeville. OUR RESISTLESS COLUMNS. p = Farmer Yapp —' V tell ye, they do wars { up in a hurry these days. They don’t let ‘em drag along like they did a century ago.” Farmer Yawp —" No; they didn’t have these here big papers in New York then,” Orn TOO MUCII FOR UIM. Weary WILLIE (folitely)—* Do you take summer boarders here, ma‘am ?” Mus, FarMen (suspiciousls) —"* No, sir; we do MORE OF A BAPTIST. THAT Spain is a Catholic nation we know, But somewhat we doubt the assertion ; For to judge by the end that her squadrons have not. met, Her practice is total immersion “Weary WitLin—" Den T guess T'll trouble you fer a bite to eat. I'm a little pertickiler on de grub question and can't stand de stuff dey feed to summer. boarders no how.” . —— = ya ° iy a a i | LOST HER Pass. - W'ot have yer did wid de pennies w'ot I giv’ yer ter save fer de ice-cream?” Ststex—"* Ow—boo—hoo—hoo—I put ‘em in me mout’ fer safety, an’ I've swallered ‘em. Boo—hoo—hoo !” Boy (on extreme right of picture, to sister) — LAUGHING IN HIS SLEEVE, DID NOT BELONG THERE, WHILE Willie was sleeping his mother had curled his hair for the first time. As soon as he became awake she lifted him up before the looking-glass. “Oh, mamma!” exclaimed the little fel- low quickly, “let me get down and shake off the shavings.”” SAVED Little Tommy (sliding down the roof)— “Oh, Lord, save me! Don’t let me slide off the—never mind, Lord; I kotched on a nail.” ARTISTIC ARITHMETIC, Customer—" How much will you charge for coloring and finishing these two photo- graphs ?” Artist—* Ten dollars apiece and twenty- five dollars for the two,” Customer — “1s not that rather queer arithmetic ?” Artist metic ?” Customer—" Does it often win 2” Artist—" Always. The patron is always persuaded that such eccentricity in mathematics is sure evidence of artistic genius.” “Oh, yes; that's artistic arith- MODERN INSTANCES. ‘00 many cooks spoil the po- liceman’s digestion, The rolling tire many a tack. Faint heart ne’er won fair lady, but the rich old fellow with one lung captures many a beau- tiful girl. Put a beggar on a bike and he rides to the second - hand dealer's. Uneasy rests the tooth that wears a crown, Make a hobby-horse of your bicycle and it will ride you to death, ‘The thirsty man grasps ata straw. Charity covers a multitude of fads. Revenge may be sweet, but it leaves a bad taste in the mouth, JAMES JAY O'CONNELL, gathers comicbooks.com