Judge, 1898-09-10 · page 6 of 16
Judge — September 10, 1898 — page 6: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains satirical commentary on American imperialism following the Spanish-American War (1898). **Key content:** The "Cuba" joke mocks the delayed planting of dinner—a reference to Spain's slow response to events leading to war. "Remember the Maine" references the battleship explosion that sparked the conflict. **"The New United States"** poem satirizes American territorial expansion. It mocks the sudden acquisition of Hawaii, Puerto Rico, the Philippines, and other islands, treating distant colonial possessions as casually as domestic states (Ohio, Massachusetts, Oregon). The speaker boasts of romantic interests across new territories, suggesting American dominance and cultural presumption. The references to Honolulu, San Juan, Manila, and Philippine locations reflect real 1898 acquisitions. The joke about "failure department" at Dun and Company appears unrelated local humor. **"Match-Making Chaperon"** uses a period-appropriate innuendo about a woman seeing "castles in the air"—she's willfully ignoring impropriety. The hand-character analysis section is filler psychology content typical of the era.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
IN SEPTEMBER. FINE exon: 48 & Gn HOUGH on her hand G SagRIViC. she wears his ring, He's feeling mighty sore, For now it is the proper thing To speak to him no more. IN CUBA. oe HAT! isn’t din- ner ready yet?” “ No, dear; you know you were an hour late in planting it this morning.” SOMETHING ELSE TO REMEMBER. «sPQEMEMBER the Maine,” said Mr. Spudkins jocularly as he rose from the breakfast-table to go to his place of business. “ And don’t forget that letter I gave you to mail,” added Mrs, Spudkins. POINT OF VIEW. NCE 1 thooght time was a laggard and bore; Once I was sure that I knew it quite all ; Once I won hearts just for fun by the score ; Once I wore shoes some three sizes too small. Once I wrote sonnets where now I write prose ; Once I chose spending to hoarding my gold. A HEAVENLY POSITION. Mrs. Isaacs—'* So your son Shakey vas perfectly infatuated mit his new job in Dun ‘The reason, rude youth, you would have me disclose ? and gompany's?” Well, once I was young, but now I am old. ‘MRs, ABRAHAMS—"' Yes; he says it's shust like heaven, He's in der ‘ failure’ de- Me A, MASON. bartment.” CHARACTER AS INDICATED BY HANDS, ; ‘ | Highly-developed taste for Fondness for dr a Love of precious stones. A righteous, kindly nature. opicyeneny wnterocion Geicnes. be _Combativeness strongly de- veloped, THE NEW UNITED STATES. THERE'S a bustle in Hawaii, ‘There's a stir in the Ladrones ; We may talk with Porto Rico Through long-distance tele- hones, And each morning at our doorway, With the ink still fresh and wet, Is laid down the last edition Of the Philippine Gasetve, I've a girl in Honolulu, ‘And another in San Juan ; And as latest yankee lasses ‘They are nice to look upon. While the maiden who in Si Was an acquisition Must resign, for in Manila _ Lhave one with longer hair. Mayaguez and Arecibo, ‘Aguadilla—what are these “But the germs of yankee cities Waking after centuries? And we speak of Kahoolawe, Mindanao and Luzon In the same breath with Ohio, Massachusetts, Oregon. Comes a national election, ‘And a people wait, intent, For the verdict of the ballot ‘As to who is president. Then the thirty-second precinct rr OF the island of Cebu ‘i , A MATCH-MAKING CHAPERON. — ; Boosts Schley Garcia Aguinaldo Manei—'* What on earth can Miss de Heiress’s chaperon be looking at that she can’t see where the count has his arm ?" So he barely squeezes through, Tom—" Nothing on earth, my dear. She sees castles in the air.” EDWIN L. ABN, comicbooks.com