Judge — September 10, 1898 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

one day, mamma. him.” What ye doing?” asked the sheriff, look- ing up from the board upon which he was waging a battle of checkers with Bloody Bill, the . murderer. “ Fixing up that postal-card offering a reward for the capture of Jiggins, the feller that embezzled ‘Squire Brown's white mule.” “ Read to me how ye describe the cuss.” “+ John Jiggins, age about thirty or forty, tall and slender all but his stomach, about as high as a life-size picture of himself and re- sembling the same in looks, eats with his knife and don't hesitate to stab with the same, chokes when he drinks whisky, scrapes his dishes when eating. wears his pants in his boots, blushes on his neck when spoke to by a woman, never swears only when spoke to, spits through his teeth *"—— “Hold on, ye blame galoot,” said the sheriff; “that'll never do. Every Sunday-school young feller in the state of Arkansaw ‘ll get ar- rested if ye send that out. Make it all over again and, mind ye, tell his vices, not his virtuous peculiarities.” Photo. by Pach, JUDGE'S FAVORITES. EDNA WALLACE HOPPER. Tune: “ Yankee Doodle.” Wee Teddy Twoshoes came to town ‘As Edna Wallace Hopper, She turned the public upside-down, ‘nd no one tried to stop her. Bis} Her Yankee Doodle dude "ll do, 1 In“ Yankee Doodle Dandy,” etc. ‘The deputy gulped down a big expostulation and turned sadly to ‘im¢,for you! the desk. DAVID M, TALMADGE, TOUCHINGLY REMINISCENT. “* W'ot's 'er matter, Bill?” Sundays w'en I went a-fishin’.” IRISH PHILOSOPHY. ¢sTHAT man sleeps sound,” said Mike “ Who nothing has to fear.” Said Ted, ‘* The one sleeps sounder yet ‘Who keeps his conscience clear.” * Be gobs,” says Pat, “ye both are right, ‘And yet I've always found He that no conscience has at all Sleeps every bit as sound.” GEOKGE &, DEVYR. A UNIQUE SEASON. Dorothy (picking off a rose, whose petals fall to the ground) —“I guess that rose is moulting—every single feather has come out, DESCRIBING A CRIMINAL. TH ERE,” said the deputy-sheriff of Braknek county, holding a manu- script at arm’s-length and gazing upon it with proud eyes, “that ought to catch WITHIN THE CITY LIMITS. “* Margaret, dear, will you please throw down the button-hole scissors? The lawn needs cutting.” AW fa THE FENCE OF HIS COUNTRY. Lavy Tramp —* Tanks, lady. below here.” “* That ‘ere sign on the back o' that chair took me back to my boyhood’s days an’ the village-school, to say nothin’ o' the So you received that wound in defense of your country? Here is a De fence I got hurted in wuz a barb-wire one jest ENDLESS DIPLOMACY. Crawford —" What do you think’ of the wind-up of the war?” Crabshaw —" It Spain's army and navy had fought as hard as her peace commissioners she would have put up a much better fight.” A WATER-COLOR, Showman —“ This, ladies and gentlemen, is the most real- istic picture of the Spanish navy extant,” Uncle Reuben—* Why, that looks like—like "—— Showman —" Like blue water, sir.” Uncle Reuben —“Well, where's the Spanish navy?” Showman —“ Under the water, sir, Please step aside and let the rest of the crowd comicbooks.com