Judge — September 3, 1898 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

154 Sage THE SUBJECT ENDED. REPORT of the debating society in Little Africa, Subject— Is de pen mightier dan de sword ?" Deacon Oller replies to the affirmative. “Ya-as, men an’ brederen ob de ‘ciety, dey ain't no two ways "bout it, de sword is heap sharper dan de pen. Ob co’se pens is useful ‘nuff sometimes, partickler when yo’ goes to write a letter, or mark yo’ shuts ‘fore yo’ takes ‘em to de Chinee man dat’s a washerwoman. But when dar's a war, one good big sword is wuth more'n forty-"leben pens. Writin’s called a peaceful art, but what kine er peace would we ‘a’ had in dis yer country if Mars George Washington had laid down he sword an’ taken to fix t'ings up wid de writin’=pen? Dey called ‘em goose-quills den, ‘cause dey knowed ‘twas only gooses wanted ‘em. Now, tink ob Linkum. He war next do’ to a saint, yet he stood up for usin’ swords. An’ Mars Gen'l Grant, s'pose he had ‘er bin jabbin wid he pen, stidder whackin’ wid he sword at Mathematics Cote-house, we ole southern niggers wouldn't ‘a’ bin no better off dis yer eberlastin’ minute dan a lot o' misable po’ white trash. No, no, brederen ; pens is good ‘nuff for pigs, but swords is best fo’ de present Spanish strituration.” M,C MUNGERFORD. HE UNDERSTOOD HER. “| heard her tell dad that the sun affected her eyes.” mhat did he say 7” Which son?" A BACK-NUMBER BALLADE. | PAIN would wed. Long has it been my dream To find some maid whose soul with mine would mate ; Who'd sit beside me in the ruddy gleam Of our own hearth, or haply at the gate On summer eves for me would fondly wait ; Would fare with me wherever I might go, Happy to share with me the sternest fate— This maid whom I should love througlt weal or woe. A WOODEN WEDDING. She'd sew my buttons on ; the gaping seam She would make whole ; and she would dissipate ‘ The cares with which my busy brain doth teem ; a are PAINTER Nor would despise my appetite to bait WHY, SEE, EAUNTED- With toothsome viands, She would captivate My every sense. Such grace she would bestow ‘As would the simplest service consecrate— This maid whom I should love through weal or woe, MANIFEST EXTORTION. First Spaniard —“And so the Americans think Spain should surrender territory or pay an indemnity ?” Second Spaniard —" Yes; they claim Spain should stand the damages. First Spaniard —" Saint Quixote! Hasn't she already stood all the damages?” Of maidens there be many, but I deem Them not this sort ; for they do congregate Tn club and lecture-room, each with her theme Learned and wise. Art, law, or real estate Do others charm ; some run a syndicate ; While others write themselves Smith, Brown and Co. Not thus do I ber virtues celebrate— This maid whom I should love through weal or woe. THE APPLICATION OF A PROVERB. General Shafter weighs three hundred and ten pounds.—Daily piper. OU'RE a gritty old chap, General Shafter, Such as you give us license to say— For we know well you'll get what you're after— 1 ENVOY, I see it plainly ; I’m not up to date. And she, my maiden, she is antiquate ; So on my lonely way I still must go. Mademoiselle Dreadnaught was giving her mar- Yet still in dreams Y fondly contemplate “That where there's a will there's a weigh.” velous exhibition with the African pythons — This maid whom I should love through weal or woe, CARLOTTA Penny. 2 —— when she suddenly gave a scream of deadly apprehension and dropped 8. —— and upon resuscitation and examination it was found that a dreadful lifeless — Harlem caterpillar had crawled down ber back. comichooks.q m