Judge — August 27, 1898 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Midge DEEP SCHEME. “The United States,” said the great grandee, who had read a geography through, “‘is very fortunate in its possession of certain physical attributes, For instance, if Spain had something like that Mammoth cave its possession would be invaluable.” “Indeed it would,” replied the high- born hidalgo; “ but how?” ¥ “ Why, we would try to arrange some way or other to get our navy in it and keep it there during war.” A CONCESSION. Jaggles— Why do they propose to allow you to ride free in street-cars providing you can’t get a seat?” Waggles—* That's the least + they can do, now that they in- WHY IT WAS ‘OFF. tend to fine you for swearing in *: Wrot's de matter, Rilly—is de engagement broke off?" public.” “Yes, It’s no use payin’ intentions to a gal w'ot kin knock de head off yer wid a simple lick—an’ dat’s w'ot she come near doin’ de last time I called on ber, If I marries a gal I want ter be boss; an’ if dere’s enny fightin’ ter be did‘I wants ter be champion.” THE REASON WHY. > : WE necton the glistening sandy beach— "Twas a beautiful summer day, But we spoke not a word—and so we each Went on our separate way No one would have guessed any pang in his heart, Had they seen his tranquil face ; Nor would they have thought I was playing a part— That I longed my steps to retrace. | My eyes fell not, nor with tears grew dim, As he coldly passed me by, For he didn’t know me and I didn’t know him, i ‘And that's the reason why. RLLA STARE, HAD NO CHANCE. That lies upon his knees. Its folds have never dipped to aught But bugle-call and breeze. The scarlet stripes are dull with smoke, The stars are Shot away, And all the bunting streaked and stained With drops of salty spray. Cobwigger—“ Why did he refuse to take the ! z X Beer ne Sate tice part of a Spaniard in that war-drama?” | AMBLING RAGGS—"*I t'ink ducks has got alm: man intelligence.’ Geir f . | PATCHED PANTZ (astounded)—" W'ot! always goin’ inter de water?” = Merritt—~ Because, being a Spaniard, he knew RAmBLine Raccs—" Yes, but never gettin’ wet, mind yer—never allowin’ it ter touch em.” he couldn’t make a hit.’ 1 re i] SS | MENDING THE BATTLE-FLAG. | HE MENDS the tattered battle-flag i | | He mends the tattered battle-flag— A stripling long ago Upon a gallant man-o'-war, He learned to patch and sew; And now with all a woman's skill He draws the needle through, And stitchiggydown the fraying red And dafs the raveléd blue. He mends the tattered battle-flag ; But who will mend in turn ‘The scar upon his withered cheek, A bullet's cruel burn? Or who restore the leg he lost When, reeling deck to deck, The Kearsarge fought the rebel ship And sunk the shattered wreck, He mends the tattered battle-flag ; Once more it proudly flies, Its starry splendor scarcely dimmed, pth te vi Well I ea paren th, and what do you think I found in it? And $0, wh f ETERINARY SURGEON—"" Well, sir, I cut open your cow's stomach, and what do you think I found in Bejand ihe oan Sr aie Pass. Six tenpenny nails, fout tacks, a Waterbury watch, a piece of barbed-wire fencing, a tin whistle, four clam-shells, a fi a fish-hook, some broken glass, a lead sinker, ten glass marbles, a tin can with mud-worms in it, a jack-knife, two 1 Lord, who is the captain there, quarts of peach-stones, a rubber ball, and four slate-pencils.” Will make them whole again. GENTLEMAN FARMER (aghast)—"‘ Great Scott! how do you suppose she ever got hold of one of my boys’ Fc bona revinc, _pants-pockets?” Z : comicbooks.com |