Judge — August 27, 1898 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

STYLES IN HAIR- DRESSING. THE WAR-TAX, ALTHOUGH we hate to think it true, It proves as sure as fate Whate'er the country has to do The poor man-pays the freight. EASY TO SEE. Pretly teacher —* What were our hands given us for, Bennie?” Bennie (eignt years old, gal- lantly)—“ To hold.” WITH A NEVER- THE TABLES TURNED. FAILING AIM. t Mf Otp Tox—''Get a brick, Maria. Here's the fellow that’s been breaking i up our concerts.”” Sniff —" Ever see \ any of this rapid fir- IT WAS THIS WAY. ing?” Woh ES," said the Spanish officer, “ we had the yankees whipped in that last battle, Pecksniff—" Yes; i ),. 3 We had them badly whipped and thrown into confusion.” Thad a government job a “ Why, then,” questioned a bystander, who should have been executed on the in Washington once ts DEAE spot for heresy; “ why, then, did you surrender?” when a new adminis- “ Why did we surrender? My dear sir, you have read but little of that last tration came into 2. Mrs. Hockheimer’s favorite busi- Stupendous engagement, I infer. Why, the Americans were whipped and started power.” ness-like twist. to retreat, and so great was their confusion that they started in the wrong direction. Under the circumstances good breeding dictated what we, a chivalrous DIAMONDS RECUT. people, should do.” E SURE you're right and then do as you THE LATEST DODGE. please. ; = Cholly—" James!" Every exception Valet—* Yes, si has its rule. Cholly —“ If Mr. Credit calls A learned fool to-day and asks if I’m in, just tell is a dangerous man. him I'ye gone to the war.” Discretion is the better part of gam- bling. ‘An idle public mind is the dema- gogue’s workshop. You,can take a 8, The pretzel-baker prevailed on his man to the bar, but wife to wear her hair in this fashion, you can't always drink him down, A self-made man deserves credit according to the kind of job he has done. . i i ‘There are three things that; make’ wensan divine-=beauty,.cqies Speen estened for the sausage-maker's little daughter. NN aT Ug meas ou senses, gentleness to the heart, and truth to the soul, These three quali- ties are the essentials of love, love is the poetry of 5. A make-up for the barber's wife, womanhood, and woman- This effect can be had by a red-haired hood, embellished by fair- Woman with a white switch, ness and virtue, is the masterpiece of God's cre- ative art. RDWARD CLAYTON SAVAGE, THE UNSUBSTAN- TIAL MELON. Aint Jane (severe ly) —"1 don’t see why you will eat watermelon every chance “you get, when it always gives you cramp.” Uncle Hosea (with , New England thrift) — A NORMAL ACT, _'Its_the nearest to get- Ciiknt (who has been indicted for murder)—'* How would the insanity defense go Ting something) for noth: 6. A style adopted: by the wealthy CRIMINAL LAWYER (astonished)—"* What ! for killing a mother-in-law? Never !” ing of any way I know.” Mrs. Giltedge. comicbooks.com