Judge — August 27, 1898 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

uae PUBLISHED ONCE A WEEK AT THE JUDGE BUILDING. TERMS TO SUBSCRIBERS. UNITED STATES AMO CANADA IM ADVANCE One copy, one year, or 52 numbers One copy, six months, or 26 numbers One copy, for thirteen weeks. including the Commsrwas Ju FOREIGN SUBSCRIPTIONS — Jorcign countries in the poital union, $6.00 ‘a year. nal news company, Bream's building, Chancery lane, F.C, London: ‘avenue de Opera, Pa ‘arbach's exchange, Mains, Germany. Corner Fitth Avenue and Sixteenth Street, New York. + $5.00 ar-Cireutati larger than any other cartoon weekly im the world. “FBP NOTICE TO PUBLISHERS.—The contents of Juoce are protected by copyright in doth the United States and Great Britain. Infringement of this copyright will be promptly and vigorously prosecuted. [F-THE WORED were not all wrong Charles Eliot Norton would be all right. FERRY BELMONT is seck- ing the bubble nomination at the cannons mouth. eee THE NAVY of Spain has a bad habit of shooting before she gets her guns loaded. BLANco WILL be remem- bered in history as the man who had the most hysterics. T MUST be said of the dis- gruntled Cubans that they are still loyal to their daily ra- tions, eee HE NAVAL AUTHORI- TIES apparently think the Buffalo was built for service solely on the Hamburg canal. Voice OF THE ARMY— “And shall we have no pie? ‘Then twenty thousand soldier- boys will know the reason why.” eee OT A PUGILIST has en- listed for the war, but it must be admitted that they have talked ably in behalf of the American side of it. SCOVEL, expelled by Shafter and his newspaper, has small chance of a vindication; but he might improve matters if he were to go out and hang himself. cee SOMEBODY. traveling through the south, heard an ex-confederate re- mark, “We yankees will give those Spaniards fits.” One touch of nature makes the entire country kin, : THE: ARMY of Spaniards that surrendered at Santiago greatly outnum- bered the army that proposed to capture it. On the whole, General Shafter is a good man who weighs a good many tons. ‘ soe JESSIE SCHLEY was not permitted by the queen regent to argue for peace; but the arguments used by her uncle the commodore were treated with the utmost consideration by Admiral Cervera. ‘ ‘B RYANISM is not dead,” says the Albany /ourna/ in an allusion to Oregon. Paddy remarked of the apparent corpse, “It’s did,” when the corpse moved. “It's did,” says Paddy, “but it isn’t sinsible of eee S* DON'T THINK you are too hot,” says a self-elected instructor of the helpless public, “and you will be cool enough.” That idiot may think he is safe from bodily harm, but he had better heat his imagi- nation in the other direction, WILLING TO OBLIGE. Customer—"' See here! this fly-trap I bought here last week hasn't caught a fly yet.” Mr. Isaacs—"* Shakey, shust catch half a dozen flies unt put in dis shentleman’s trap for him.” WHAT! NO PIE? IE IS DENOUNCED by the military authorities, who say that it must not be sent to the-soldiers. This is a great shock to the nation, the great majority of whose citizens are pie-biters; but it shall at least be insisted that the pastry, while last in war, shall be first in peace and first in the hearts of our countrymen, ARGUMENTATIVE SUICIDE. SAGASTA talks of suicide in preference to disgrace with great fluency. Now there is nothing to prevent him from slaughtering himself. Let him demonstrate his willingness to do that which he has no hesitation in asking a hundred thousand Spanish soldiers to do. Those men are with- out hope precisely aS he is; and they know that to continue to fight is suicide in fact, while he discusses merely the theory. A HOT LITTLE SURPRISE. SOME VERY GOOD MEN are addicted to profanity, but there isn't one of them who is not ashamed of every oath he utters. The utter- ance is involuntary, without preface, uncontemplated, spontaneous, sud- den, and in most cases the result of extreme vexation. When it is over the decent man chides himself and declares he will’ never do it again; but he adds, with a suppressed chuckle, “Nothing else under heaven would have untied that knot or buttoned that button.” THE WISDOM THAT CONTROLS US, Wes THERE EVER A WAR in which more was accomplished within four months? Persons who growl- ed at the slowness of McKinley ought to examine themselves and see if they are capable of any kind of good judgment what- ever. It is their custom at this moment to lament that Havana was not taken to begin with; but the judgment of the world is altogether with the president and the army and navy for ex- actly what they have done and for exactly the way they have done it. There has not been a false move or the slightest mis- take. THE DUDEST DUDE. TH GOLD WHISTLE and the gold breast-plate of the dictator of the Philippines sug- gest trouble. That kind of man is without thought save as to his personal glorification, and his vanity will have to be eliminated before he has room in his head for a decent set of brains. So far the dudes of our army and navy have done excellently, it being un- derstood that a dude is a man who is not ashamed to dress properly and wear blacking on his boots; but the man of the little whistle will be apt to toot himself into some folly for the lack of a guardian. However, it is comforting to reflect that his pomposity didn’t lead him to proclaim himself with a fog-horn. ONE OF THE BIRDIES. THERE WAS A PROPOSITION to argue a young lady out of a school in Boise, Idaho. The result of it is succinctly stated in this dispatch from that town: Its believed that two of the men shot last night by Miss Birdie Sanders will die. The third man escaped by running away and is thought to be uninjured. Miss Sanders lately has been teaching the White Cross school, and the three men, who opposed her retention as teacher, called and tried to, scare her into leaving the county. While politics is not necessarily wrong, even in school matters, it must be insisted that there must be nothing of that kind which mititates against the chivalry of this enlightened period. It is barely possible, however, that this lady knows how to take care of herself, no matter what the nature of the argument which may be presented against her desires or her rights. comicbooks.com