Judge, 1898-08-13 · page 3 of 16
Judge — August 13, 1898 — page 3: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Analysis of Judge Magazine Page This page contains three satirical scenes from what appears to be a military-themed issue: **"He Got the Run"** depicts a debate about whether to bet on tea or coffee—likely mocking trivial concerns during wartime. **"Hints for the Pictorial History of a Great Man"** offers suggestions for documenting a notable figure's life through various domestic and personal scenes (his home, school, relatives, kitchen details). **"A Reasonable Preference"** shows a military exchange where a private requests cavalry transfer over infantry service, joking about preferring being kicked by horses to artillery shrapnel. **"Doubtless a Graduate"** satirizes an educated person (possibly referencing Harvard) caught in an embarrassing situation, suggesting even education doesn't prevent foolish behavior. The overall theme suggests commentary on military life, education, and human nature during wartime. The humor relies on incongruity and understated British-style wit characteristic of Judge magazine.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
HE GOT THE RUN. STAR BOARDER (af supper)—'* We must appeal to you, Mrs. Hashhouse, to decide a bet.” Lanptaby (graciously)—'* Well, I really don’t believe in betting, but what is it?” STAR BOARDEK—" Why, c¢ this—Slopay bets that this stufl is coffee ; Waybehind bets that it’s tea, and I bet that they are both wrong and that it's coffee and tea mixed. Now, which is right?" HINTS FOR THE PICTORIAL HISTORY OF A GREAT MAN. N DI RENCE to the enlightened opinion of the present day, which holds that the in- terest attaching to a great man is necessarily extended to all his belongings, I venture to offer to the intending biographer the follow- ing suggestions for sketches : A likeness of the great man at the age ‘of two years. A likeness of his maternal uncle's first wife, Distant view of the school he attended in his tenth year. Gable-end of house he once occupied. Profile view of man who serves him with milk. Corner of kitchen, with shelf holding tea- pot and sugar-bowl, View of bedroom, showing toilet table Sa to the right; also his best boots, his dress hat, _., A REASONABLE PREFERENCE. PRIVATE (somewhat pitifully)—" Captain, would you just as leave transfer me from the infantry ‘corps to the cavalry ?” CAPTAIN (sternly}—"* Do you know you are liable to be kicked to death by the horses in a cavalry charge ?” Private—" Yes, captain, but I'm dead sure of being kicked to death by those infernal musket charges. The kick I have coming is the kick that comes to me, captain,” his spectacles, and his tooth- brush. If he happens to be still living it will of course be im- possible, just yet, to furnish sketches of his coffin and his tombstone, but so soon as it can be done I shall be happy to gratify an intelligent curiosity with regard to these last particu- lars also, Mm, BLM, DOUBTLESS A GRADUATE. Weary Witie—" Wonder where Slouchy Slocum ever got dat Harvard college diploma dat he carries around in his is pocket? Do yer tink he stole it?” y, be Ss sn WAR is a dreadful form of SANDY SAUNDERS —"* W'y, no; from de vacuity uv his conversation I tink he must hev graduated from Harvard an’ ‘the habit some men‘have got it natural, He ain't bright enough ter get it any other way.” of painting things red. comicbooks.com