Judge, 1898-08-06 · page 10 of 16
Judge — August 6, 1898 — page 10: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from Judge contains several satirical pieces targeting late 19th-century American society and politics. **"Almost a Tremendous Victory"** mocks Spanish military incompetence during the Spanish-American War. A Spanish official admits his fleet mistakenly bombarded an uninhabited South American location instead of New York City, then claimed victory anyway—satirizing both Spanish military blunders and absurd official spin. **"Up-to-Date"** presents a modern twist on the "Enoch Arden" legend (a man presumed lost returns home). Here, the returning husband finds his wife has become independent, joining the "professional woman's league" and supporting herself. She dismisses his romantic dramatics and throws him out—satire on changing gender roles and women's increasing independence. **"Strange Fruit"** humorously describes a Florida pear-tree that finally bears fruit after twelve years of fruitless effort, celebrating unexpected agricultural success. The remaining pieces include wordplay-based humor typical of the era. Overall, the page reflects Judge's satirical focus on contemporary American life, international affairs, and social change.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
“Ab when y someth Wha you we LMOST A TREMENDOUS VICTORY. bring Stranger (in Spain)—"I understand that yester- belt day you celebrated the capture of New York city. Is 1 the gi it possible that New York has fallen?” Ness Spanish official —“No, it was a mistake. You g S BF le A Coo See, the officers on’ our fleet got all mixed’ up on their % i 2 urall latitude—clear turned around—and supposed they had © oo gece delicic reached New York. They bombarded the place a whole day, and then boldly ventured on shore and raised the glorious standard of Spain. The place after- ward proved to be an uninhabited point on the South American coast.” UP-TO-DATE. HE modern Enoch Arden slouched up and down in front of a row of flat-houses in Harlem with his hands in his pockets. It was in vain that he tried to look A GREAT COMBINATION, 3 in at the window, as his prototype had done, for his dear deserted wife occupied the top flat. Presently he summoned up courage and en- & tered the oak-fin- A PRECAUTIONARY. QUESTION. i Weary Witz —‘' Excuse me, lady ; but does your husband ever have ished vestibule. occasion ter take any kind of patent-medicine fer stomach troubles?" Then he pushed Mrs, Hanpout—'* No ; he does not.” the electric but- . Weary Wittir (joyfully)—" Den, lady, I t'ink I kin safely trust meself ton and waited, ‘eT €at piece of your pie or cake.” When the door 2 clicked he toiled painfully up seven flights of stairs. When he reached the top a door was opened and he was ushered into a brilliantly-lit parlor furnished on the installment plan. “Do you know me?” he exclaimed, dramatically, when he ot in the right light. STRANGE FRUIT. . 4 Ree Why, if it isn’t Enoch! Sit down and let us talk. Oh, WHILE north Florida vf . you needn't start on that story about being wrecked on a sand- ranks with Georgia jae! Deegan A bank in the Pacific. I happen to know that it was a faro-bank as a pear-producing re- “ " fi : in San Francisco that broke you. And you needn't look around gion, in south Florida yy \ dq for Philip. He isn’t here. When I married you I was a poor tropical fruits are in their y V2 (on young, confiding type-writer, but now things are different. A year glory, and while pear-trees Sy al. after you left I joined the professional woman's league and took do sometimes grow and : A to riding a diamond frame. At present I am making my own do sometimes even bloom, way and read a paper before the woman's-rights club every they rarely fruit, There month. I tell you all this so that you will not waste time by try- was a certain pear-tree ing to get poetical. And now, Enoch, I think you had better there that had cumbered 2 pass out into the night. Ta-ta.”” the ground for twelve sea- A few minutes later sons and still no fruit. It a] : Enoch was standing on a had received all possible attention and every known means of | street corner, begging for persuasion, and year after year, as one experiment after another i nickels wherewith to ac- was made, it was watched with the greatest solicitude, until at = cumulate a proper jag. last blossoms did really appear. Ak One morning Mrs. K., the mistress of the house, who was Feb f SURE. always the first to discover any new thing in nature about her, Q - r went excitedly into the house saying, Come out and see the . tas a Hardup, don’t pear-tree! It is full of pears. . Although your fortune ’s thinned ; Just give your whiskers time to grow ‘And you will raise the ‘The family rushed out to see the prodigy and beheld the rich green pear-tree—hung with stockings. “Aren't they pairs?” asked Mrs. K. HE way to under- stand woman is not to try. Under these circumstances she re- " PATENT PNEUMATIC SWIMMING SAFETIES. veals herself some- Drowning impossible. what, 4. ‘* Please call again, sir.” comicbooks.com