Judge — August 6, 1898 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“Ab when y someth Wha you we LMOST A TREMENDOUS VICTORY. bring Stranger (in Spain)—"I understand that yester- belt day you celebrated the capture of New York city. Is 1 the gi it possible that New York has fallen?” Ness Spanish official —“No, it was a mistake. You g S BF le A Coo See, the officers on’ our fleet got all mixed’ up on their % i 2 urall latitude—clear turned around—and supposed they had © oo gece delicic reached New York. They bombarded the place a whole day, and then boldly ventured on shore and raised the glorious standard of Spain. The place after- ward proved to be an uninhabited point on the South American coast.” UP-TO-DATE. HE modern Enoch Arden slouched up and down in front of a row of flat-houses in Harlem with his hands in his pockets. It was in vain that he tried to look A GREAT COMBINATION, 3 in at the window, as his prototype had done, for his dear deserted wife occupied the top flat. Presently he summoned up courage and en- & tered the oak-fin- A PRECAUTIONARY. QUESTION. i Weary Witz —‘' Excuse me, lady ; but does your husband ever have ished vestibule. occasion ter take any kind of patent-medicine fer stomach troubles?" Then he pushed Mrs, Hanpout—'* No ; he does not.” the electric but- . Weary Wittir (joyfully)—" Den, lady, I t'ink I kin safely trust meself ton and waited, ‘eT €at piece of your pie or cake.” When the door 2 clicked he toiled painfully up seven flights of stairs. When he reached the top a door was opened and he was ushered into a brilliantly-lit parlor furnished on the installment plan. “Do you know me?” he exclaimed, dramatically, when he ot in the right light. STRANGE FRUIT. . 4 Ree Why, if it isn’t Enoch! Sit down and let us talk. Oh, WHILE north Florida vf . you needn't start on that story about being wrecked on a sand- ranks with Georgia jae! Deegan A bank in the Pacific. I happen to know that it was a faro-bank as a pear-producing re- “ " fi : in San Francisco that broke you. And you needn't look around gion, in south Florida yy \ dq for Philip. He isn’t here. When I married you I was a poor tropical fruits are in their y V2 (on young, confiding type-writer, but now things are different. A year glory, and while pear-trees Sy al. after you left I joined the professional woman's league and took do sometimes grow and : A to riding a diamond frame. At present I am making my own do sometimes even bloom, way and read a paper before the woman's-rights club every they rarely fruit, There month. I tell you all this so that you will not waste time by try- was a certain pear-tree ing to get poetical. And now, Enoch, I think you had better there that had cumbered 2 pass out into the night. Ta-ta.”” the ground for twelve sea- A few minutes later sons and still no fruit. It a] : Enoch was standing on a had received all possible attention and every known means of | street corner, begging for persuasion, and year after year, as one experiment after another i nickels wherewith to ac- was made, it was watched with the greatest solicitude, until at = cumulate a proper jag. last blossoms did really appear. Ak One morning Mrs. K., the mistress of the house, who was Feb f SURE. always the first to discover any new thing in nature about her, Q - r went excitedly into the house saying, Come out and see the . tas a Hardup, don’t pear-tree! It is full of pears. . Although your fortune ’s thinned ; Just give your whiskers time to grow ‘And you will raise the ‘The family rushed out to see the prodigy and beheld the rich green pear-tree—hung with stockings. “Aren't they pairs?” asked Mrs. K. HE way to under- stand woman is not to try. Under these circumstances she re- " PATENT PNEUMATIC SWIMMING SAFETIES. veals herself some- Drowning impossible. what, 4. ‘* Please call again, sir.” comicbooks.com