Judge — July 23, 1898 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

PUBLISHED ONCE A WEEK AT THE JUDGE BUILDING. TERMS TO SUBSCRIBERS. UNITED STATES AND CAMADA TH ADVANCE, One copy, one year, or $2 numbers - $5.00 One copy, six months, or 26 numbers One copy, for thirteen weeks =~ Including the Cunistas Jupoe. GN SUBSCRIPTIONS —Te alt ‘countries im the postal umion, $0.00 Bream's building, Chancery lane, E. is; Saarbach's exchange, Mainz, Germany. Corner Fifth Avenue and Sixteenth Street, New York. London : ER-Circulution larger than any other cartoon weekly in the world. E27 NOTICE TO PUBLISHERS.—The contents of Juoce are protected by copyright in both the United States and Great Britain. Infringement of this copyright will be promptly and vigorously prosecuted. SPANIARDS will kindly observe that this is also a nation of govern- ment bond-holders, HE CADIZ FLEET will be found to be far more so on the return than on the outgoing voyage. o. M®- MANSFIELD is too good an actor to waste his life in the produc- tion of a prolonged whine. WE TRUST that no purchaser of beer under the new tax will consider it necessary to make his stomach a government bond-holder. oe LAst WORDS of the last Spaniard — “ Spanish honor must be vindi- cated, We were never in better condition to fight than now.” THE PRUDENCE which induced Jo- seph Leiter to provide himself with a rich father, for use in case of emergency, cannot be too highly praised. THE KAISER pro- claims himself not only the head of the army but the head of the theatre, Will it be long before he becomes the head of the church? see THE HEAD of the society for the pre- vention of cruelty to animals wants us to let up on Spain; but we are painfully reminded that sometimes the animals are guilty of cruelty to us. WHAT IS THE MATTER with the enterprising daily newspaper that it doesn’t steal Hobson and his men, and directly thereafter capture Havana and end the war? Skconp Kon after they've got ‘em sunk an’ salted?" GERMANY in the Philippines is another case of the enormous nose that is always getting itself into other people's business with the apparent purpose of getting itself pulled. X-SENATOR PEFFER, who is running on the prohibition ticket for governor of Kansas, will have sore need after election of the large bottle so long usurped by that Spanish admiral. ++ DEMOCRATS,” says the Utica Hera/d, do not stand on principle.” Well, now, we know of a man who was hanged who would have given worlds for anything to stand on, but he didn’t have it. ++] AM SURE,” says Blanco, “that all feel to boil, as I do, the ardent and generous blood of our fathers.” It is far too late for that. It needed boiling, for it was bad. But. the gentleman might compromise matters by boiling his own. THOUGHT THEM 1kER—"* But how the dickens are they goin’ to git the Spaniards to invest in the mines BREAD OR BLOOD? HE POORER a man is the more he has to contribute to the wealth of the Joseph Leiters. ‘There is something wrong about the absence of law which makes this wholesale robbery possible. Will there be a revo- lution some day which demands bread or the blood of the gamblers in grain? THE WOMAN WITH A GUN. HERE MAY be a war-lesson in the case of the woman of Alameda, California, who shot at her husband and killed a total stranger in the next county. When a Soldier in Cuba tries to shoot a Spaniard it is not pleasant to reflect that he, or she, endangers the lives of innocent persons away up in Vermont. THE UNPARDONABLE BLUNDER. ‘THE MAN who shot at Blanco at a distance of only a few feet and merely wounded him deserves the death he will undoubtedly get. If to blunder is a crime, what must be the verdict in the case of a soldier who half misses such an opportunity as that ?—It seems from further informa- tion that the man never shot at the general at all. Very well. Shall he be boiled in oil? THE UNIVERSAL HESSIAN, PROFESSOR NORTON enlarges on his idea that the men to fight for a nation are the lower and more numerous classes who like fighting, and not the men who should teach peace, mathematics and philosophy. There is, to be sure, such a thing as patriotism ; but it is cheap and should be possessed for the most part by men who need work and who have lei- sure for drilling and dying. In other words, we should hire our patriotism, and get the hirelings to do our cheering, sing- ing, fighting and praying. gg AN ADVISABLE SACRIFICE. THE QUEEN RE. GENT ought to be permitted to abdicate, leaving the throne tempo- rarily in the hands of 7 Alfonso’s sister. Those SYS who recall the flight of 7 Bugenie and other roy- al unfortunates know that a mob in a mon- archical country is a beast with a thousand claws ‘and no soul. The lady proposed is better fitted for the sac- rifice, and she should have it if she wants it. As the girl remarked at protracted meeting, so may say Christina in this emergency—"I know my fine bonnet is dragging me to perdition, so I will take it off and give it to my sister.” THE .VIRTUE OF OMISSION. THERE IS ONE GOOD THING about the essay of the girl graduate. It does not meddle with current topics. It treats of abstruse and ancient questions; and as it is not of immediate importance it may be translated any time during the next ten years without danger from the long delay. The dear girl will not trouble herself with the Spanish-United States question, and therefore she will kindly refrain from instructing our military and naval leaders how to win battles and as to what they had better do when the battles are won. For, bless ‘the child! she is not a newspaper editor. GOLD-MINES. First Kionpiker—"* They say they're sinkin’ mines in New York harbor fer to bust the Spaniards.” CAN WE HAVE TOO MUCH SUCCESS? ROVER CLEVELAND, with some others, warns us not to get intoxicated with the glory of war and of the acquirement of new territory. It appears, however, that we have got pretty deep into this war and it really wouldn't be wise to pull out of it until we have whipped the enemy. Of course, there are lots of things possible to make us afraid to win it, but they cannot be profitably considered until the fighting has gone further. “Drive slow,” said the man who owned the horse to the man who hired it for funereal purposes. “Certainly,” was the reply; “but I'll keep up with the procession if I kill the horse.” comicbooks.com