Judge — July 16, 1898 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

HORRORS OF WAR. TRE fiercest battle of the terrible war was raging on both sea and land. Guns of the most astounding cali- bre were belching forth re- dounding smoke and ruddy flame and hurling tons of cold lead and chilled steel into the palpitating vitals of the stub- born enemy. The tropical sun was pouring down incandescent rays on the sweltering combatants. Brilliant war- cortespondents were perspiring and pre- varicating on every side, and the scene, taken as a whole, would have made hades look like a summer resort. The American commander-in-chief, clothed in pajamas and absolute power, was sitting in the shade of a palm-tree, AFTER THE HAIL-STORM. Mr. Fxoo—"' Hello, there! Where did you hail from?” awaiting the result of his masterly plans. . Presently a group of tattered warriors emerged from the battle- smoke and galloped up with a pris- oner. A glance sufficed to show that their captive was none other than Captain-general Don Whisker- andos y Toreador Etcetera, whose full titles would fill a comic supple- ment. After wiping his face with a flaring bandana our commander glanced around to see that the cor- respondents were within earshot and then inquired, “Is this hot enough for you?” The proud features of the haughty don writhed with mortal terror; then, belore he could be pre- vented, he drew his trusty Toledo NOT “GAGGED” BY ANY MEANS. blade and committed hara-kiri. VisrTING HUMORIST—"* I'saw a new gag to-day on the Jersey mosquitoes.” Jursnyire (sobcr/y)—"* Don't ye decetve yerself, young man, Yew may hey seen suthin’ on ‘em that looked likea ., , And yet they say that thisis a gag, but ten to one it’s only some new-fangled contrivance fer gettin’ a better holt.” light-hearted war. A DASTARDLY RUSE. yp GEE: First Spaniard — Those eA LL Americans may say all they wish * 3 about our ships being afraid to go out to fight them; but for a contemptible, cowardly, under handed ruse they are far abead of anything known.” Second Spaniard —" They are, certainly. But what did they do?” First’ Spaniard —“ Why, you know yesterday was given up to a celebration over all of Spain in honor of the bombard- ment and destruction of Wichita by our fleet. Now, after ridicul- ing our fleet as being afraid to come out and fight, what do these Americans do?” Second Spaniard —“ Sur- render everything?” First Spaniard—" No; the Poltroons to-day come out and Prove that their city, Wichita, is ; too far inland'to bs botabaraca INSANITY IN ITS WORST FORM. ie Vistror—"* What is the mental ailment of those poor men?” . by any fleet.’ ATTENDANT—"* They imagine themselves to be riding bicycles made two years in advance of the present model.” comicbooks.com