Judge — July 9, 1898 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“Shure,” says he, “the indepindence av says Oi, “'tis off yez be; ‘tis the indepindence av the Unoited Shtates yez do be “Thot's it!” says he; “thot’s the raison Oi'm falin’ indepindent av Oireland—poor, out- raged oisle!” says he. And wid thot he goes whoopin’ down the shtrate. And ‘tis the same, Oi'm thinkin’, wid all the rist av the true Americans — thim thot wor born in foreign cloimates. The Unoited Shtateser thot wor born in this land three hundred years ago niver cilebrates. No; ‘tis troyin’ he is to get laws passed prohib- itin’ the makin’ av noise ixciptin’ from the tops av tally-hoos and from the fronts av opery-boxes ; \ and he’s not loikin’ the stars and stroipes, for it p flops disgustin'ly ungraceful in the braze. Thot WAR NEWS ILLUSTRATED. felly cilebrates the fourth av Juloy only in Sip- A large American schooner was taken timber, he havin’ made thot month mimorable ith. its entire contents by a supposed aug, aie: TH SEEN o'C Spaniard. It was found lying on one of by bein’ born in it; and the only falin’ he’s havin’ the bars that abound near New York. to'rds the country is gratitude thot it didn’t sloide — Spanish newspaper. to one soide and lit him fall inty the water. JUDGE'S FAVORITES, BLANCHE WALSH. In Columbus Theatre Steck Co. Fair sar, although you shine at night, Iris not safe without a light To scorch upon your wheel, despite ‘The regulation Mere cops may fail to see aright ‘our scintillation. MCGARVEY ON THE FOURTH. sR. MCGARVEY," says a frind, “ whoy don’t we cilebrate the fourth av Juloy on some other day ?” “Shure,” says Oi, “ we do, “Tis all depindin’ on the felly thot cilebrates. The boozer thot gets bloind drunk on the avenin’ av the third don’t cilebrate on the fourth. Naither does the felly thot sills limonade ; he works, and work is no cilebration ; but, bejakers, cilebration is work, Oi'm tillin’ yez !” Patriotism 's the quare thing. No man thot gets it is iver cured av it, and the man thot hasn’t it niver gets it. “Hurroo!” yills Tid Murphy to me, *‘tis ob- Lu wo BOS ce clean crams és servin' Oi am the diclaration av indepindence!” semepy —"_ Daddy. dis ara Mistah-Jonsing, dat ak wants to marry: a the d : I Uxcie Mose —"‘Ah dunno, honey; yo" hab toe ax youah mammy. Her rheumatiz am gittin’ pow’ “ What indepindence ?” says Oi. ful bad, an’ ah dunno ef she'd be willin’ toe suppo't an extry membah in de fambly.” There's Pat O'Leary, he’s the great patriot for yez! Thot felly loves the country wid a love thot is thick as the hid av him! He loses his job, he busts. his woife’s jaw, he breaks wid his bist frind—all, be- jakers, to tear the azur-re r-robe av noight and sit the stars av gl-I-lory there! avin x. tatsaves. THE DREADFUL BARGAIN-COUNTER CIGAR. PMILANTHRoPIsT—"* Here is a nice box of cigars | have bought for you.” c ‘ONVICTRD MURDERER—"* T’anks, lady ; but I realize de justice uv my sentence and have no de- | sire wotever to cheat de gallows. HEAVY OCEAN comicbooks.com