Judge — July 9, 1898 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

PUBLISHED ONCE A WEEK AT THE JUDGE BUILDING. TERMS TO SUBSCRIBERS. UNITED STATES, AND CANADA. ADVANCE. One copy, one'year, or 52 numbers - $5.00 One copy, six months, or 26 numbers - 3.50 (One copy: for thireen weeks === 135 Including the Cuaisraas Juoo FOREIGN SUBSCKIPTIONS—Te alt Sorcign'countrias in the postal union, $0.00 ‘a year. International mews company, Bream's building, Chancery, lane, E. Brentane's, avenue del Opera, Paris: Saarbach's exchange, Mains, Germa: Corner Fifth Avenue and Sixteeath Street, New York. . London: (B-Circulation larger than any other cartoon weekly in the world. 97 NOTICE TO PUBLISHERS,—The contents of Juocs are protected by copyright in both the United States and Great Britain. Infringement of this copyright will be promptly and vigorously prosecuted. PATRIOTISM by Russell Sage—* Remember thie main—chance.” esis PROVERB—When you put your hand on a Spanish fleet it is some- times there. see THE SCORCHER of Chicago who ran against a mule felt as if Admiral Dewey had smothered his fire. AFTER ALL, the most effective fighting done by the Spaniards thus far has been their cries for help to the other powers. o ets [8 THE OPINION of Mr. J. Wanamaker Matthew Quay won simply and only because of the inclemency of the war-fever. cee WE BEG to inform that American girl whose stockings are held up by an embryo Spanish flag that there is a cyclone coming. oes SENOR CARRANZA, the distinguished spy, has learned by this time that the only safe way to write a letter is to convey the information by word of mouth. cee HE PROMPTNESS with which the busi- ness portion of France denies its undoubted sympathy with Spain shows that that misplaced republic is a nation of shop-keepers its very self. ae M®- CHASKA, the distinguished Indian who married a white woman, recently attempted suicide. Failing in this effort, we have double proof that the Indian never can be civilized. THE COMPLIMENTS of Spanish officers to American bravery are evi- dence of an enlightened and generous human nature which ought to save a couple of battles before the inevitable end. Mrs. Waysipe- take his place.” THE WAR SPIRIT must have acted too powerfully on the woman of Hutchinson, Kansas, who pounded a man to death with an iron pipe merely because he asked her to marry him. THE VASSAR GIRLS, according to the Boston Globe, are so patriotic that they will go to Cuba, if in no other way, for the mere purpose of sewing buttons for the soldiers. Buttons, indeed! They never heard of them. Hooks-and-eyes, if you please. see THE SIX HUNDRED Kansas school-teachers who have enlisted for the war are worthy of their fighting fathers who saved the state from slavery; but what a magnificent chance they are giving the Kansas girls, every one of whom was born a pedagoguess. CAUTIOUS. My husband has been ordered to go to war, and I'd like to hire a man to Warvy WinpLe—"* In wich capacerty, mum—busband er sojer?* HURRAH FOR US! HE SCREAM of the eagle is very loud this July, but the orators must not give us more than the two continents and those outer islands which are necessary to their protection. And as for the Canadian breach in the Mon- roe idea, let it stand. Just at this time were are all Cana- dians as well as Americans, and if the dear boys over the line want to annex us so mote it be. N za Sy THE SOUL- DESTROYING CUPIDS. ‘WO GIRLS of the-salvation army recently de- stroyed with an axe several Cupids on public. exhibition, ‘The reason for the What is Uncle Sam doing? He isn’t doing a thing but trying to see where the Monroe doctrine comes in at the Philippines. destruction was that the Cupids didn't have any clothes on and were therefore believed to be demoralizing. We have long thought that something of this kind ought to be done, but as long as clothing is as cheap as it is now wouldn't it be gentler and better to supply the little gods with a pair of trousers apiece? WHY SUCH HASTE? ECENTLY a man was married to his sweet- heart on a ferry-boat, and in twenty minutes had left the lady and was on his way to the Philippines. There have been many such unions during the past three months, and at first. glance the world ap- plauds them by way of a vindication of the theory that it loves a lover, and especially a war - lover, regardless of time, place and circumstances, But we had a war nearly forty years ago, and it is well to remember that all of those hasty matrimonial affairs didn’t turn out well. THE LICKSPITTLES. HE APOLOGY written by Alfred H. Love of the branch of the uni- versal peace society which is located in Philadelphia to Sagasta and the queen regent is the most insuflerably abject of all voluntary humilia- tion. . Possibly its author might bury his head in mud and make himself alittle more dirty; but perhaps he would prefer to lick the boots of the Spanish government if the members thereof will kindly give him the op- portunity. ‘There is one comfort, however. The Spanish flag which he hoisted has come down and it won't go up again. THE HAPPY HOBSONS. OUNG HOBSON is the kind of man who recognizes an opportunity at sight, and doesn’t stop for reflection when the time comes for clutching it. There are many men as brave as he—some three thousand sailors volunteered for the desperate risk he adopted as his own—but the majority of them have taken the old advice to think twice before acting once. Speaking generally, it is the unthinking who win. They do not stop to apalyze any kind of fun or danger; but jump to anything that is suggested, and enjoy it thoroughly because they do not analyze after it is begun, and not until it is ended. And all honor to the happy-go-lucky Hobsons. They think much and well enough, but they do not stop for any intellectual exercises of that kind when it is time to act. comicbooks.com