Judge — July 2, 1898 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

AS IT IS SPOKEN, Farmer Scroccs —** Hard times must hev struck city folks.” Farmer Binks —'* Dew tell!” Farmer Scrocas — “They're bevin’ dinner in ther evenin’ an’ doin’ ‘thout supper.” OUR NEW PQSSESSIONS. T PRESENT the sun never sets on our land, Although with the season it varies ; But when it does set we should not be surprised If perchance it should hatch some Canaries. HER CHOICE, HE was a pretty young ‘thing fresh from a fash- ionable “ finishing school.” She was bidding the “happiest man on earth” a fond adieu on the stoop of the old country-house. ~ “ Now, dearest, just before I go,” he said, com- mencing all over again,.:' what kind of a ring shall it be?” -~. 5 “Ob, Jack!" she answered rapturously, “do get me a solitaire with one diamond in it.” Henry substitutes a giant-cracker for a candle fn grandpa’s oandlestick. . Wety and success. This idea is erroneous. 4 ARTISTS. THE impression ‘exists in the world of bohemia that an artist is a person, more or’less erratic, more or less in need of a hair-cut, miore or less intoxicated, and more or less male or female, wha'can wield the brush or pencil with sub- It doesn’t show that a man is an artist merely because he can paint. Any old maid can do that, Nor does it show he is an artist be- cause he can balance'a glass of beer on the end of his palette, stand on one foot, aud draw something or other that looks somehow or other like something or other. Oh, no; if he can balance his account at the bank and draw a cheque with-_ out getting jailed for it it speaks cyclopaedias more for the validity of his title. : I have seen men who called themselves artists be- cause they could balance a feather on their nose, ani! T have geen others who laid claim to the title because they could draw beers. I have seen theatrical artists who could draw houses, and cow-puncher artists who could draw a gun. I have read of panel-game artists who could draw a ten-dollar bill from a Sunday-school superintendent's trousers, and Weary Willie artists who could draw flies. I have seen poker artists who could draw four aces, political artists who could draw four salaries, and coy young maiden artists who could draw four breaths while being kissed once. Nay, nay, kind friends of the brush and pencil; you are not the only drawers on the artistic line by any manner of means—there LOST AND FOUND. NITA is a winsome maid. T met her where the sunbeams played Among the grasses lush and tall, Beside the old vine-covered wall. She blushed and tripped and lost her ring ; At last I found the pretty thing Down in the grass where sunbeams played— Anita is a winsome maid. Anita is a charming maid. I joined her where the shadows played Athwart the vast cathedral space, She raised her eyes, and lost the place In her wee prayer-book ; finding it Our fingers and our elbows hit, Where the cathedral shadows played— Anita is a charming maid, Anita is the dearest maid. I sought her where the moonlight played Along the porch with roses’ scent. MAHONEY HAS A PRIVATE TRIAL OF A SKY. And I—indeed, I never meant ROCKET ON THE MORNING OF THE GLORIOUS FOURTH, Mrs. MAGUIRE (supporting Mrs. Mahoney)—“* Why didn’t yez let go, yer fool ?” Manoney (i2 mid-air, angrily) — ‘An’ phwy. the divil didn’t yez tell me to let go befor I took howld?* NOT A GOOD SUBSTITUTE. Granppa—'' Candles may not make so bright a light as a ker'sine-lamp, but one thing ’s sure—they don't explode.” To steal that kiss. "Twas chance, not art. I—suddenly—I lost my heart. Anita found it—kept it too. But I have hers, so one will do. I found it where the moonlight played— Anita is the dearest maid. moa c. powo. 1—1!1—111 comicbooks.com