Judge — June 25, 1898 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE ANGRY LOVERS AT THE SHORE: OR, HOW THE FAT OLD GENTLEMAN BROUGHT THEM HAPPILY TOGETHER AGAIN. yy TO BE SURE! EP!ToR oF juDGE— Was there a forecasting of our new admiral’s fame in Lord Nelson's signaling through the British fleet just before the battle of Trafalgar, * England expects every man to Dewey's duty"? ». w.s, REAKING IT GENTLY. uae A MODERN FABLE, NCE upon a time the Spaniards caught an American prisoner of war. Upon his begging for his life the Spanish general said, “ Carambo! Cast him into a dungeon three feet long, two feet wide and four feet deep, and let the dungeon be lined with spikes. If then, at the end of the week, he has not begged for mercy spare him; otherwise kill ze pig.” And the man was cast in, Say!" cried he; “this is a soft snap.” And there he stayed, and at the end of the week he rented the dungeon for a week more. And the drinks were on the Spaniards, Moral—Before you try monkey-tricks ona 4 prisoner of war see that he hasn't ever lived in ess n Harlem, MCLANDALECH WILSON. A HARBINGER OF SPRING. ° Q!: LIST the sound that loud and clear From ont the grove falls on the ear. ‘The pussy-willow quakes with fear, For ‘tis the dog-wood’s bark we bear. MAY ELLIS MCWOLS. THE QUEEN’S HELP. HE war was under discussion at a dinner-table, when Dorothy, aged seven, exclaimed, ‘* Well, they'll have to pay for the Maine, any way.” Then, after a moment, “ Victoria is a good queen, and she won't let the Spaniards - hurt. us. Mother, don't you remember the verse you taught me," Come and reign-over us, o'er all victorious’ ?" Young Waldo Endi- cott Eastman having, soon after his arrival in Okla- homa, run counter to some point of occidental eti- quette and suffered there- for, Alkali Ike was selected to break the news gently to the young gentleman's relatives back in New Eng- land,which he did in the fol- lowing characteristic way: fr. Horace Eccle- field Eastman, Dear sir—I a take my pen in hand to let 3 you know that your son got yere all right several days ago, wearin’ a plug hat an’ a look of soupersillyous superiority, so to describe it. He ‘peared to be agreeably surprised at a number of things yere, one of ‘em bein’ that our most prominent citizens don’t wear britch-clouts an’ live in trees. He also wore a languid drawl, an’ his appetite for the fodder at the hotel seemed to be kinder fitful an’ hectic; but in other respects he ‘peared to be a model young man, an’ I could have cheerfully recommended him to ‘most any community that had the time to spare to pamper him. Crops is first-rate yere an A SHORTAGE. 46] MUST cloase now az my time limbeted and 1 am short of payper.” “I should think he was short also of dictionaries,” murmured his correspondent. he’s too pretty. My wife would be jealous.” "Then take Miss Antique. She's ugly enough.” 1 that case my wife would be savage at me for preferring the society of such a creature to her own.” times is boomin’. No more at present from yours ttuly, “ALKALI IKE. “P, s—sThey - lynched him_last night. -He ort to have known that he couldn't reconstruct an’ transform the whole blamed settlement into angels all by himself.” A MARINE ARTIST. YOUNG Dander now has fone to war, And though his paintings look like mud His art is most successful when It comes to drawing Spau- ish blood. QUITE SO. HAT is Shakespeare's definition of a late WHY HE DIDN’T DANCE. “What! not dancing, old man? Let me secure you a waltz with Miss Début.” supper? “Such stuff as dreams are made of.”