Judge — June 4, 1898 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A PERPLEXED PASSENGER. HANGE ears for Toronto,” the trainman said ; And at once a woman in nervous haste Sprang up from her seat and seized her bags, Then suddenly turned and the passengers faced. * Change cars for Toronto,” was shouted again ; Bot it only seemed to confuse her the more, For she turned on us all an appealing look And slowly made for the fa:thest door. At last she paused by a kind-faced man With the fatherly look of bishop or dean And asked in a sort of helpless way, “*Change cars if you want to? What did he mean?” MELEX W. GROVE. THE ONLY WAY HE KNEW. Kind old party (to sobbing urchin) —" My little lad, you shouldn't cry that way.” Urchin —" How'n thunder kin I cry any other TECHNICAL INFERENCE. Unciz Warscare—"'I guess I'll be takin’ a walk over tew the base-ball grounds, "Mandy.” AUNT 'MANDY—"' What on airth dew yew want thar?” UncLE WarscarE—" The paper sez our ball-club hez a number o’ substitutes fer sale, an’ I guess I may want one in case I'm drafted, b’gosh !" OPENING THE CONVERSATION. OUNG Mr, Bashby and Miss Spritely were at dinner together. Two courses had been finished and still the bashful youth had not said a word. Suddenly the young lady spoke. “T'll tell you what let’s do,” she said ; “*let’s talk.” The young man’s complexion uttered several bright things in reply, but he spoke not a word, MuLEy Soccin—" It says here dat dere’s more jingoes in THE WAR SPIRIT. de United States senate dan ever before.’ Patriotic cub— Papa, were you born in England?” Lonarit Waxt—" More gin goes dere dan ever before, Papa" ex ey soa.” eh? Wa-al, I've bin suspectin’ some uv dem senators uv DR ie es rn, . i SDoteh coorage’ fer gale @ spell” Patriotic cub—" Say, but didn't we lick you in 1812? A MAN OF MONEY, FAIR WARNING. oe HY, Laura,” said Mr. WwW Snickers the hu- morist, “is that a pistol by the side of your plate?” “Ie is, my dear,” replied Mrs. Snickers sweetly. “It is loaded too. We have bis- cits of my own make for breakfast, and I wish to dis- courage criticism.” GOOD OUT OF EVIL. Patient—" 'm afraid 1 am poisoned, doctor, I ate what'l supposed were mush- rooms at a table-d’héte din- ner.” Doctor—" Did you drink the wine that was served with it?” y ay : Paani ‘Then you'll be OF TWO EVILS, ETC. age) re : Courtine —"*II'm indecided'whether.to go to war or stay at home.” ’ Allright, ; The tivo poisons Mrs. Currinc— Remember, if you do go you will’have to face Spanish bullets and possibly sudden death.” will act as antidotes to each Currinc—"* Yes ; and if I don’t go I'll have to face American biscuit and a lingering death, Guess I'll enlist.” other.” comicbooks.com