Judge — June 4, 1898 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

372 / COMPETITION. Potennee ~ \ vy DOWN in Oklahoma there is a town where KX .&e. \ x two rival bakers offer special induce- 2, ments to attract custom. When \ Z Schmidt announces a cut in prices Dupont outdoes him in the matter of accommodation, One day the French baker had this sign painted on the side of his house : * Seven loves for twenty-five cents.” ‘The German could not furnish more loaves for that sum without inviting bankruptcy to the feast, so appealed to the public in another way by putting in his window this startling notice: “On Saturdays customers’ own vitals will be cooked.” THE MIRACLE OF SPRING. THE bare. brown earth lay like a dumb and helpless thing under the April sky. Beaten by snows and buffeted by storms drenched and upheaved, it lay in the first warm sunshine. Passionless, inert and insignifi- cant, one day it woke and spoke, and its words were potent and masterful, though they blossomed in the colors of the rainbow : “ The winds and rains I love, and the storms I have invited. My se- crets do I keep. My chemistry is mine. Life's mysteries 1 hold. God's treasurer am I and I his almoner. Fruits have I to unfold, but first, oh God, the flowers !” And from the unsightly soil sprang a thousand petaled things, bright- hued and glorious. One day the bare, brown earth, The next day these. And how well the earth keeps her secrets! KATHRINE GROSJRAN. LS Be x“ FOLLOWED INSTRUCTIONS. EACHING Ethel to spell “it was very discouraging to Miss B, Finally she said, “Point to your eye, Ethel, and say ‘i,’ and think what mamma drinks at night and say *t.'" Company in school the next day tempt- ed Miss B, to show’ off,“ Spell ‘it,’ Ethel.” The reply was prompt, * |—coffee, ‘ AN EXHIBITION DRILL, (Not by the U. S. A.) ON THE LOOK-OUT, Farmer Hayrick—"* Now look keerful, Eben ! I've heern that lots uv money is dropped on Wall street ev'ry day.” A STRANGE PHENOMENON. DOROTHY had been greatly interested in watching the development of two buds on her mother’s white-rose bush. One morning, on entering the sitting- room, she found them open. Rushing into the kitchen, she ex- claimed excitedly, “Ob, mamma, they've popped !* HIS IMPROVEMENT. Askins — How is your cold to-day ?” Coffin —* Much better, thank you. I cough only all the time now, while before I had to stop coughing every now and then, in order to cough.” THE GENUINE THING. STURGIS had been visiting without any other member of the family. The evening after his return his A QUESTION OF RESEMBLANCE. Mr. Lecuors (sfernly)—"‘And yet, Mrs. Leghorn, you have the audacity to say that that young Brahma looks like me.” little sister asked him if he had said his prayers every night. “No, not once,” replied Sturgis; “1 had a really- truly vaca- tion.” ERUDITE. “oO F COURSE you are thor- oughly familiar with Shakespeare's works,” said Professor Joggins to Mr. Centralia, presi- dent of the Chicago . literary society. ' ME DIDN'T. HAVE. THE HEIGHT, Certainly, pro- Miss. JOuNSON (rapturously) —"* Yais, Mistah fessor,” replied Mr. Jackson. yo may give me one good-night kiss — I's Centralia. “Icanread Waitin’, Mistah Jackson—I's wait Shakespeare’ in the MR. JACKSON (with dignity) — "* 'Scuse. me, Miss Johnson, but does yo’ fink youah future hus- original.” band am a rubber-neck ?” comicbooks.com