Judge, 1898-05-28 · page 5 of 16
Judge — May 28, 1898 — page 5: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three satirical pieces mocking social pretension and hypocrisy: **"Touching Devotion"** jokes about a wealthy woman's romantic delusions. Miss Widdough believes a duke adores her "for myself alone," but Miss Divorce cynically quips he loves her "for himself a-loan too"—implying he's after her money, not her person. **"Above His Business"** ridicules a vain clergyman's obsession with elevating himself literally and socially. He raises his heels, pulpit, and even preaches from the steeple. The punchline: God humbles him by calling from street-level among "my people," forcing the minister "down." **"Not Under False Colors"** presents a boy honestly selling oranges as oranges, not misrepresenting them. The humor lies in the woman's surprised assumption that a street vendor might deceive her about his wares. All three pieces satirize affectation, pretense, and the gap between self-image and reality—common Judge themes critiquing Victorian-era social climbing.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
TOUCHING DEVOTION. Miss WkppoucH —‘* Don't you think the dear duke’s devotion is somewhat touching — that he really adores me for myself alone?” Miss Divorce —"* Oh, dear, yes—and for himself a-loan too.” ABOVE HIS BUSINESS. OW it is reported of a dominie, not a thousand miles from greater New York, that he used such radical yeast in his daily bread that he imbibed a sort of material upward tendency of habit. He had another lift placed on the heels of his shoes till they looked like those of a Texas cowboy. He had the springs set up on his pleasure phaeton, He placed thicker cushions on his study chairs. He took his summer va- cation in the highest mountains. His nose grew somewhat ele- vated. He studied the higher criticism. He wore a high silk hat. He startled his congregation by going back to the an- cient New England fashion and built his pulpit so high he had to use a ladder to get into it. At last he laid a tem- porary floor in the belfry and went to preaching through the slats of the steeple to the people down below in the streets, He stayed there for years, till at last he grew old and feeble and much needed a place for the final rest- ing of his bones. One day the Lord came and called to him after this fashion: “Servant of Jehovah, come down and die” Like a flash the dominie looked up into the dome of the blue, but descrying no one cried out, “ Lord, where art thou?” “Down here, among my people,” was the answer from the street. It is said the dominie was somewhat taken down by this, NOT UNDER FALSE COLORS. Woun-ax ruxcuasun (0 boy lft for the moment in charge of stand)—"*Say, sonny; what are you selling oranges for to-day?” i Bov—"* Why, oranges, 0 course. you s'pose I'm a-sellin’ ‘em fer kokernuts 7” comicbooks.com