Judge — May 28, 1898 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

356 PATRIOTISM FROM THE SOIL. HE yankee blood, said Colonel Corn, Lies latent deep within me. For Uncle Sam I'm surely bora, And should he ask for Colonel Corn T'll pop like a torpedo. And I am too, said Colonel Wheat, A native of my country. If Uncle Sam should think it meet Old Spain may beg for Colonel Wheat, And yet she will not knead me. RLIZAUETH MABEL BRYAN. WISHED TO BE CORRECT. DoRoTHY had been sent into the cel- lar to get a jar of preserves, Around the top of one jar had been wound a cloth to keep out the air, “Mamma,” said the little girl as she entered the kitchen without the preserves, “I didn't know whether you wanted me to get the jar with the wig on it or not.” A PLEASANT POSITION. Bov—"'I say, mister, take your pants off quick. The dog wuz brought up on a Cuban plan. tation, an’ he never sees a pair o' check pants but he thinks the wearer 's a tramp or a Spanyard an’ he goes for him; I can't hold him much longer, neither !"” HOW SIGNOR BOVINSKY COMPOSED HIS PIECE FOR THE CONCERT, LW 1. ‘Just the ideal spot to compose my grand march, “The Desert.’ POSITIONS FOR HEROES. Robson—" Street-car con- ductors should all be heroes.” Hobson—" And why he- toes?” Robson—“ Because none but the brave deserve the fare.” FAR DIFFERENT. Mrs. Malaprop (horti- fied at finding her daughter's waist encircled by a young man’s arm)—"Oh! And they told me he was descended from one of the old Hugme- 2. ‘Yet nothing seems to come to me. I will smoke a while and think.” not families.” “TT but catch this my fortune is made.” HIS DEFINITION. Little Mike—* Phwot is a contortionist ?” McLubberty — “Hear thot, now! Begorra, ut looks as if yure schoolin’ was doin’ yez moighty little good. A contortionist is a man thot char-r-r-rges more than th’ lawful rate av interest, d’yez moind ?” THE WAY OF IT. OU think perhaps she loves you, till Of sense you are bereft ; But while you wonder if you're right You find that you are left. * This is the proudest moment of my life.” A PROBLEM FOR HISTORY. THAT Spain discovered America four centuries ago is an established fact; but the question now arises, after the war is over who will discover Spain ? ANOTHER PATRI- OTIC SUFFERER. oe Wry does Blowers want a pension ?” “ He weakened his lungs in the recent war with Spain.” comicbooks.com BH