Judge — May 21, 1898 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

SCATTERED HINTS ON ETIQUETTE. ON’T ask what's coming next at a lunch-party. It’s not considered good form, and, moreover, is too late to do any good. A better plan is to send a list of what you want to your host the day before. Never tip your plate when dining at a restaurant. What in thunder do you suppose the waiters are for? Never give way to uproarious mirth at a private din- ner-party. Keep such excess of energy for swearing at the servants, And beyond all things don’t take too much wine during the earlier courses. There may be whisky later on. If you're a guest at a wedding never get intox- icated before the breakfast and never keep sober after it. When you're at a social entertainment don’t confine your conversation exclusively to one top- ic; unless, of course, it happens to be yourself and you're a perfect master of the art of amusing people by telling them just how clever you are. Never stare at people from a distance when Funny Roosten—'‘ That reminds me that T was once laid out without any you're out calling. If you happen to feel that life in me.” ; way go right up to them and ask them what in blazes they want Poe Geet waanege Oe allow your- F P y ba os ace ee ey self to become involved MY i i sleeve during 2 iricad: is teal argument at - \\\ R ay! y Tle game cl eer a five-o'clock tea, Just " \ ‘ pane : Pein keep perfectly cool and, s SN goATOF|)| smite knowingly and if you're not a preach- ; e : ay, Now 1h bee Siri Promend straight \ a i } | You'll find the New shea Se . i 5) : | York flier nothing to as you can.’ Should the N § | Se | the way those other other man do the same . we ses rile ee es sapldly a8" pose 3 1 ‘ are: that’s paid according ‘Also, should’ you rly vf to the number of ar- ep 00% lady's tain . Bes Hit 3 y(t tests he makes won't at adance and tear it : : : SUMP |) Some iin a undred nearly off her back, bet- Zils! . < { : b ter taste requires that / 2 Nae Nees GLE you should turn the fj ji Goss playing lebess tie maken on bene SY : h = rich uncle, never stay mask ae WAU taing , ; : awake when the curate should toot at cross- : Preackes,” and |inever, ings”? or, ©Got on Z never yawn when your board with a jump, _ = plese sti yous = didn't 1?” After this ——— i berate — ~~ ar Dame re = employer's word as to g RIGHT IN HIS LINE. the story's being If by any chance MR, McSLASHER (with patriotic enthusiasm)—"An' whin Oi'm called to Cuby it's mesilf thot'l shplit funny, you're unfortunate the shkulls av the Spanyards wid me good swoord.” Fs enough to be caught Basi MESLASHES SAG! phwile yez be home wud yez moind keepin’ yure hand in be shplittin’ a bit av wi NM. 6, ROULTMER, THE THREE ALLOTTED TIMES. ‘The docthor sez yez are to hov one glass av whisky three toimes a day.” All roight, Norah. O'll take one glass now an’ another one in foive minutes an’ another one in tin minutes.” comicbooks.com