Judge — May 21, 1898 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Suiage PUBLISHED ONCE A WEEK AT THE JUDGE BUILDING. TERMS TO SUBSCRIBERS. UNITED STATES AND CANADA 1K ADVANCE, One copy, one year, or 52 numbers = $5.00 ‘One copy, six months, or 26 numbers - 2.50 One copy, for thirteen weeks - 1.35 Including the Cunistaas Juoct. FOREIGN SUBSCRIPTIONS — Soreign countries in the postal wnton, ayear. Corner Fifth Aveaue and Sixteenth Street, New York. EW-Circulation larger than any other cartoon weekly im the world. EB NOTICE TO PUBLISHERS.—The contents of Junce are protected by copyright in both the United States and Great Britain. Infringement of this copyright will be promptly and vigorously prosecuted. $1,000.00 witt be given to the contestant in JUDGE’S prize- puzzle competitions who is the first to solve correctly every one of the puzzles in three successive contests. It WILL be well to remember the Virginius also. THEY MADE fun of Senator Mason, but we are all Senator Masons now. Cry WOMENS CLUBS for the discussion of politics ought rather to be called boomerangs. o BERTHA SMITH of Topeka has reached her fifth di- vorce and several wards yet to hear from. * QUR CONGRESS escaped « civil war by a narrow mar-, gin; but it was very nearly blown up by an inside explosion, War WITH SPAIN direct- ly after the death by tort- ure of Dr. Ruiz would have saved half a million lives. F MR. GODKIN had his way every man in our army would go to war handcuffed and every officer would wear a muzzle. ITZHUGH LEE is eligible for the presidency, but it suddenly occurs to us that Will- iam McKinley is eligible for a Pauy = ledeed? SkuLLINS—"" Yes, lady. second term. ship de United States ships captured.” see Lapy G2 TO A PALMIST when you are blue and youll come away a happier man, says a writer. Anyhow, you'll make the palm- ist happier. +4 ONG LIVE SPAIN!” shout the mobs of the Spanish cities. ‘The remark may mean patriotism, and then again it might rationally end with an interrogation-point. Because there is doubt of it. THE KILLING of a duelist in Italy by his opponent is pronounced an accident, the intention of duelists of this period being merely to pink. But we still think that the best weapon for these purposes is the inkstand, as occasionally used in our congress. . ‘JF GOD meant women to wear feathers,” says Hugh Pentecost, “he would have caused feathers to grow on their heads.” Would he, indeed? And if he had meant them to wear clothes would he have had them grow seal-skin sacks instead of their natural skin ? As the absolute unity of the antithesis in the notion constitutes its essential being, it shows in its manifestation and intervention in externality the contradiction of its ultimate determinateness. THis 1S by Hegel, whom they are trying to revive. If they succeed in reviving him they will immediately make an effort to revive his readers. pe wa ALL HE REQUIRED SKULLINS (the road.agent )—"* Lady, | stand in great need uv sympat’y.” I'm one uv de unfortunate crew uv a Spanish merchant. Poor man ! and so you are looking for work?" SKULLINS—"* No, lady; food an’ money is all 1 require.” EXCESSIVE TEMPERANCE. THE WOMEN of the Christian temperance ‘union are to make war on root-beer, which they declare has alcoholic properties; and a recent scientific article says that water, if sipped, is as inspiring in its effects as wine or beer. We shall all of us be so scrupulous some day that we sha'n't be able to do anything but get religion and die. THE FACT OF INDEPENDENCE. HY DISPUTE about words? The appearance of an army of the United States on Cuban soil will be a sufficient declaration of Cuba's independence. The fact will speak louder than a dozen formal declarations. And we guess the recognition so much discussed will be ratified by all the nations of the world with the sole exception of Spain. TOO SEVERE. HE YOUNG LADIES of the south who shoot men for stepping on their toes are too savage. It is a new kind of lynching, and the nat- ura! outcome of the vengeance on black men which has become such a feature of southern life. But, really, they ought to let the white young men of the south escape with their lives and confine their murders to the race which is so rapidly becoming used to it. : ROOSEVELT AND GRANT. F FRED GRANT had accepted the position offered him of assistant secretary of war he would be happier now. Theodore Roosevelt vir- tually went to the head of his department and was recognized as a power in war greater than the head himself However, Roosevelt will go to Cuba as a fighting: soldier, and the vacancy thereby occurring may make Grant happy yet. “WHY SPAIN FIGHTS. SPAIN DOES NOT fight to win, Her statesmen are not fools, whatever may be said of her ordinary citizens. She fights to prevent revolution and save the government at Madrid. Without a fight the government would be knocked higher than a kite. When she is whipped io Cuba there will be peace in Spain, When the people of Spain get some knowledge of the power and resources of the United States they will shout for peace as ardently as they now shout for war. BLOOD AND WATER. A CANADA PAPER says Canada would fight with Uncle Sam against the Spaniards if her help were necessary. That utterance of friendliness is very kind at this moment, and will have an influence in behalf of English and American cousin- ship greater than a dozen quar- rels because of rivalry and differences as to lines, gold and property. And if Spain might fight Canada the stars and stripes would go over the border before anybody could make a remark about Jack Robinson, UNEASY. THE ALACRITY with which Woodford was handed his passports and the insults offered General Lee when he left Havana show a state of hysterics on the part of our friends the enemy which badly damages their courtesy and ordinary politeness—or rather it would if they happened to have any. They might have done worse, however—it would have been quite easy to assassinate the gentlemen, and they kindly refrained. ‘They might say, after the manner of one of Gilbert's characters, “ We are not boors, but we feel uneasy.” AMIABILITY IN WAR. ++ AMERICA,” says Elizabeth Stuart Phelps in a plea for peace, “has not acted the part of a gentlemanly nation.” George William Curtis used to tell of a man of his own character who attended a caucus in his own ward. The boys treated him as an interloper, and he went out of doors in a few minutes with a smashed hat. He had persisted in being a gentleman and the boys wouldn't have it. General Woodford tried the same method and the dons laughed at hi It is sad, but it is necessary when in Rome to do as Romans do. comicbooks.com