Judge — May 7, 1898 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

wudge. PUBLISHED ONCE A WEEK AT THE JUDQE BUILDING. TERMS TO SUBSCRIBE. UNITED STATES AND CANADA IN ADVANCE One copy, one year, or $2 numbers One copy, six months, or 26 numbers One copy, for thirteen weeks = = “Factuding the Cunistaas Juoct. FOREIGN SUBSCRIPTIONS —Te alt Soreign countries in the postal union, $6.00 ‘@ year. 1d Sixteenth Street, New York. 2- Circulation larger than any other cartoon weekly in the world. £27 NOTICE TO PUBLISHERS.—The contents of Juoce are protected by copyright in both the United States and Great Britain. Infringement of this copyright will be promptly and vigorously prosecuted. $1,000.00 witt be given to the contestant in JUDGE'S prize- puzzle competitions who is the first to solve correctly every one of the puzzles in three successive contests. THE SPANISH FLAG—Skull and cross-bones, ee WE JUDGE from the voluminous talk of the rainy-day club that it never rains but it pours. THE SAFETY of the battleship Texas demands that the Atlantic ocean shall be immediately enlarged. T IS LIKELY that those persons who call McKinley a coward did ali their fighting at home when he was at the front. [S THERE any American who would have peace without honor? Then he is not an American—he is a coward and he has no country. ere SPROSIS discusses such questions as “contemporaneous thought as a formative element in literature,” “the nature of realism," etc.,and buys head- ache powders by the bushel. , UR MR, CROK will do his part of the fighting with Spain on the racing-grounds of England; but as to his struggle with Hill he will leave orders and fight by substitute. SAGASTA SAYS he has done everything possible to satisly the Cu- bans, and we must say that no complaint is made by the four hun- dred thousand who have starved to death. bread said. ALFRED AUSTIN writes pretty good verse, but Uncle Sam cannot throw his arms around John Bull and weep just at this time. Not that he doesn’t want to do so, but he’s mighty busy. . sTHE WOMAN who swoons has passed out,” says a lady. We have long had a feeling of respect for the woman who indulges in the 07d, old-fashioned faint and no fuss or airs about it. THEY TELL of a rain of sulphur in Kentucky. The ground was cov- ered with it, and it burned and smelled like sulphur. So the open fight between the free-silver and the sound-money Democracy is on, is it? CHRISTINA says pathetically that she has no husband to advise her now. It may be unfortunate for her, personally; but the enforced absence of the feeble young man has been thought to be a rather good thing for the Spanish people. HE DETROIT WOMAN who offered to flip a cent with her husband to see whether the two should separate has the right idea. Why the cost and scandal of such cases in court when the simple separation is the one thing desired? Legality? Well, did any divorced parties ever have any respect for that? IN NEED. At the table stood a baker Making up a batch of His son cried, ** Pa, 1 want some cash, “1 knead the dough,” pa EMANCIPATION. RESIDENT LINCOLN emancipated the blacks. President McKinley wants the emancipation of the Cubans and puts his foot on the bar- barism that starves non-combatants and has no respect for innocence and virtue. THE FIGHT FOR FREEDOM. N° NORTH OR SOUTH, no east or west, no parties or half parties; but the union a unit for free Cuba and the Monroe doctrine in i broadest sense. No more wholesale starvation, no more white slavery, no more foreign governmental control of anything or anybody on this continent. A SHORT-LIVED SHEET. A POPULIST NEWSPAPER is contemplated in Chicago which wil have one hundred editors. That's too many. One populist is equal to a page every day, and most of the others will have nothing to do but tear out one another's whiskers and howl at the editor-in-chief, The paper will live about three days and wiil then be gutted by the editorial staff. PRAYER AS A WAR-WEAPON. A CORRESPONDENT of the New York Press believes that if the “clergy united in prayer to that end God would sink every Spanish war- vessel. It is well to have faith, but it is safer to keep your powder dry. Sup- pose, for instance, the Spanish should pray the Almighty to sink all of our navy? Why would not the efficacy of supplication be as great in one case as in the other? THEIR NEW AMBITIONS. THE THIRTY-ONE WOMEN who want to marry General Cassius M. Clay have no respect for the divorce laws and are indifferent to the terrors of old age. One can have more respect for the thousands of women who want to go to war on horseback, though they are tough enough. But as to the cour- age of the sex there can be no doubt. + There is nothing they do not dare to do until they are generously given the opportunity. WEDDING-GIFTS. MAN in this town gave his girl two brand-new front teeth as a wedding-gift; “to fill up the gap,” as he expressed it. Directly the two sep- arated, and then, on the highway, he tried to pluck the teeth from the gap, and the magistrate before whom he was taken fined him ten dollars for it. The proprieties of life ought to be respected. Only a stingy man would have limited his generosity to two teeth. He should have given her a full set, a wig, and a cork leg. SOME WOMEN’S RIGHTS. 6s THE CONDITION of women,” says a Sorosister, “has changed from that of a slave or a plaything to that of a companion for man.” More than that, sister. The woman is his rival in business and in ordinary work, and she frequently deprives him of work that he needs in order to live and support his family, That, however, is no crime. Fair play de- mands equal chances, and she has as much right to life and labor as he has. And as to her companionship there is none better, if as good. GIVE AND TAKE. 5. GILBERT wanted five thousand dollars as damages because a London paper’ said he was given to pomposity, envy and ingrati- tude, and the jury disagreed, Mr. Gilbert satirizes men, women and ideas rather more than any other man, and it is not reasonable that he should be sensitive to that sort of thing as applied to himself. It reminds one of the generous lad who said to his companion, “Let us play. I will hit you with a club and you will back up against the fence and cry.” The sug- gestion that those who give should be willing to take would evidently come to Mr. Gilbert as a new proposition. comicbooks.com