Judge — April 30, 1898 — page 9: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Suage 285 LOOK BEFORE YOU LEAP; OR, THE SAD STORY OF A BAD LITTLE BOY WHO TRIED TO STEAL A BIKE RIDE WITH HIS STILTS ON. A MODERN QUIXOTE, ‘¢*THE man whom I marry must be a brave man,” cried the young girl. ‘The mere fact of your declaring yourself one is not sufficient. What I require is substantial evidence. The mere assertion that in case of war you expect to volunteer is too pneumatic. I must have positive, unadultered proof of valor before bestowing my hand.” As she concluded her cold, cutting remarks her lover gasped and plunged his brains into thought; then suddenly, with a HER PREFERENCE. FatuEr—" I have decided to buy you a chainless wheel.” DavcnTeR—" Oh, you dear, good, lovely papa !” Fatwer—“And then you can wear long skirts instead of those immodest short ones.” Davcnter—"' Oh, papa! you are very good; but knowing how hard pressed you are for money just now I couldn't think of your buying me an expensive wheel. Get me a'‘ninety-cight’ fifty-dollar machine and give me the balance for a new costume.” pleading look, cried, ‘You may unmuzzle your parent's bull-dog to-night before I call. Will that suffice ?” “It will not,” she replied with a contempt- uous shrug. “What,” said he, “if I agree to accom- pany you to the next female cooking-school exhibit and sample all the first- biscuits entries?” “That wen't come up to my ideal, either,” she cried, her voice somewhat softened, however, at the enormity of the desperate offer. The young man grew pale for a second ; but, recovering himself, fished down into his vest-pocket, drew out a card, and with the air of a Coeur de Lion handed it to her. “Take it!" he cried, ‘‘and be, on deck at Professor Slama- bout's bicycle riding-school to- night at eight and feast your eyes on bravery. I am going to attempt to learn to ride a bicycle this very night.” And leaping to his “fect he seized her father's hat (being apparently newer than his own) and fled into the night. ‘She shall be mine,” he muttered, “if I lose a leg.” ZA id 7, COULDNT BE IN TWO “LACES AT ONCE. Docror—"* Your wife must aave chicken-broth three times a day, and you must givesher a spoonful of this medicine every hour during the night.” Mr. Jackson (dubiously)—" Wa-al, doctah, I doan’ see how yo’ expec’ me toe pervide her wif de chicken-broff an’ gib her dat medicine at de same time.” comicbooks.com