Judge — April 16, 1898 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

MR. TOOLEY TELLS A STORY. HERE wuz a farrmer an’ his name wuz Brown, an’ he hod a man wurrking fer him an’ his name wuz Kelly; an’ wan noight, whin Kelly wint out t' lock oop th’ barrn, he run into th’ farrmer, an’ th’ farmer wuz a-hangin’ by his nick to a bame wid a buggy-trace, an’ Kelly cut th’ trace an’: picked oop th’ farmer an’ carried“him into th’ house an’ run tin moiles fer a docther; an’ he got will, an’ sid he'd niver commit suicide agin; an’ whin Kelly left him fer:t’ go t’ wurrk in another place he counted th’ wages thot th’ farrmer give him an’ found it wuz two darlers shy, an’ he sid, “ How is this, Misther Brown? Me pay is two darlers shy.” An’ th’ farrmer sid, “ Whoy, Kelly, don’t yez remimber th’ buggy-trace yez cut thot noight? Oi'm a-takin’ it out av yure wages.” PP $s ase EVEN the gentle rain from heaven plays pool in the Streets, TRULY GRATEFUL. CHoLty Sortiey (concluding the interview)—"And if you refuse me your daughter I shall kill myself, sir.” COLONEL FIREATER (toarmly grasping his hand)—"And 1 will nevah for- get it of you, suh, and I beg to thank you kindly, suh, for taking the job off my hands, sob.” COULDN'T FIND THE POCKET. oo BAFFLED muttered the great detective. He threw his wife’s dress to the floor and strode gloomily from the room. A WOMAN’S DETERMINATION. Cobwizzger—" Did your wife insist upon having all those new things for Easter?” Crawford —" Did she? Why, she said she would have them even if the expense necessitated our moving to Brooklyn.” LOADED. Miss SoutHey—"* Ah, gen- eral, no doubt you have many rec- ollections of the bravery of Colonel Kyerly of your command duri your numerous engagements. Genera BLUDULEED— yes, miss. While at Bull Ru Tecollect he was shot in his tent. Miss SourHey—" How un- lucky ! Was he court-martialed for getting intoxicated ?” IN LUCK. THE tramp asked the passer-by for a ten, ‘That he might his last whiskey recall. It happened to be in the season just then, So he gave him a charity ball. ABSENT-MINDEDNESS. Miss Gambrel — Isn't it funny? Lucy and I are always forgetting our ages.” Visitor — You ought to put them down, Miss Gambrel fabsent- mindedly)—" Yes; we did cut them down several times, and SURE SIGNS: 5 ake Mrs, O'TooLr—"'An' so you re doin’ yure shpring house-clanin’, Mrs. Doyle?” probably that’s the reason we Mrs, DovLe—' Oi am ; but how did yez nom ad are growing so forgetful.” Mrs. O'Toore—" Whoy, Oi seen yure poor goat an’ pigs a-wanderin’ about sad-loike, ez if they hod no place t’ go to.” comicbooks.com