Judge — April 16, 1898 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Sudge | ANTI- FLIRTATION. HE Solons of Virginia, and of just two other states,* Forget that boys and girls will be sometime each other's mates; And so they've lately passed a law to stop'the ‘ masher’s” trade, Asif to ‘fall in love” was not for what the world was made. You cannot wink, or smile, or toss a gesture in the air To any girl who thrills your heart and is surpassing fair, In all the three great commonwealths alluded to above, So great a sin their rulers think it is to “fall in love." Alas! how little some folks know of what mere law can do. It cannot stop the moon from growing old, or being new ; \ It cannot make the wind blow fair, or tidal waves stand still, Nor can it legislate to make the rivers run up hill. So, do not think—you men of-law—your statutes can prevent The exercise of Cupid's most delicious blandishment ; = | For the force that brings the tumult to young hearts in this rare way Was born a million years ago — and it is here to stay. ‘* Missouri and Tennessee . JORL BRNTON. AN AERIAL CONJECTURE, Mooney—' Thot granehor-m yez hoy workin’ over there luks ez if he jesht landed.” FOREMAN FoLey—" No; but av ye wait about two minutes Oi t'ink he will be—th’ blasht thot he's shtandin* over is due t’ go aff in wan minute.” A GREAT RELIEF. W TH Badger times are no longer rough With joy on his way he goes. He's succeeded in borrowing money enough To pay every cent he owes. THE LAND OF SPINDLES. Mfrs, Dorcas —" Do you approve of the rainy-day club?” Dorcas —"\t's all right here in New York, but it would be a frightful sight in Boston.” THE PROBABLE REASON. Tkenstein—" vonder vy Swindlebaum left der seashore ven he did?” . a . Rozenheimer— 1 oxpect it vas pecause he had to. MONEY IN IT. Nopody vould make him a bresent obf it.” WHEN THEE Proup Parner —"* My daughter strikes B and is reaching for C.” FrieNb —"* Oh, but you can't really complain until she begins to strike you for V's and_seach for X's.” : BETWEEN SHAVES. *sPA 'S got a nawful a . temper,’’ said - Jamie. “1 tried t’ sand- ; ik BNTRANGCE | paper my pencil on his chin while he was takin’ a nap, an’ he woke up an’ got real mad about it.” ME TOO. TIE beauties of the Par- thenon My constant fancy ever please. Upon New England's icy hills Ttoo have known an attic freeze. The parson and the census man s Enjoy a mutual sensa- PREACHING AND PRACTICE. tion's Miss PeNstock — '* What became of the clergyman i who preached such a grand sermon on The sin of covet. O"® Manages & surpliced . A HEAVENLY VIEW. ousness '? . “i . ‘Tommy—"* Kin yer see good, Billy ?” Miss HaMManp (of Chicago) —"* He went to another And one a surplus popu- BILty (ecstatically) —" Fine! I kin see Catcher Kerrigan's church that offered him a larger salary.” lation. vom raatt, feet every time he gits after a foul tip.” comicbooks.com