Judge — April 2, 1898 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

‘One copy, one year, or $2 numbers $5.00 One copy, six months, or 26 numbers - 2.50 One copy, for thirteen weeks === 1.35 Including the Cuxistaas Juoce. FOREIGN SUBSCRIPTIONS Sorcign countries in the postal union, $0.00 ‘@ year. Tne ARKELL PUBLISHING COMPANY (jvoce BuiLoic), Corner Fifth Avenue and Sixteeath Street, New York. EB Circulation larger than any other cartoon weekly in the world. £27 NOTICE TO PUBLISHERS.—The contents of Juoce are protected by copyright in both the United States and Great Britain. Infringement of this copyright will be promptly and vigorously prosecuted. $1,000.00 wit! be given to the contestant in JUDGE’S prize- puzzle competitions who Is the first to solve correctly every one of the puzzles in three successive contests. GREAT DEAL of the war spirit is taken with a stick and a little sugar in it, e soe OST DECENT MEN in Paris are continually remarking to them- selves, * Do not be a Paty de Clam.” 4sTHE PUBLIC,” says Mr. Boutelle of Maine, “may go to the devil.” The gentleman is generous, but the permission is wholly su- perfluous. . WEYLER INTIMATES that if he were near our president he would de- stroy him, The man has done so little butchering lately that he is wild for blood. ‘ MBS: MONA CAIRD pict- ures the universal wo- man in a cage, slowly dying, while the brute, man, stands outside and jeers at her suf- ferings. Why not call the police? SAME DIET— SAME PRICES, NEW ARRIVAL (al KVondike, who used to give “\farm-board" during the summer months to deluded New~ Yorkers) —" Great Scott! “now I begin ter know how my summer boarders must have felt when they eat dinner ter hum with me.” THE LEGISLATURES of two states are consider- ing bills prohibiting cigar- ettes. The fools are.not only not all dead, but they have a very large representation in these state bodies. KING GEORGE is again popular with his pedple because of the attempt of two men to assassinate him. If his majesty should get himself killed he would be the most popular of monarchs, Lt US HAVE PEACE; and yet we are obliged to call the attention of Mr. Roosevelt of the navy to the fact that the Cincinnati Enguérer calls him Teddy and says he is a snivel-service dude. THE PASTOR of the president preaches to the president direct every Sunday. We should think his excellency needed a little rest once a week, but he is getting more information than might come to him through any cabinet council. THE CAUSE of labor ought to be indignant at the statement that only twelve hundred out of a million deaths are due to gout. No laborer can afford the luxury. ‘Their dying must be of diseases belonging to the plebeian variety. SENATOR HILL has won the enmity of Senator Grady of the New York legislature, who says he is both distinguished and extinguished ; “s fe her fortunate in the praise he gets for his opposition to the vag bill. HAWAIIAN PROHIBITION, THE COST OF BEER in Honolulu is twenty-five cents a glass, and yet the Hawaiian government recently let two hundred kegs of it run into the sea. The ignorance which dictated the watering of this beverage in that way is so remarkable that the Hawaiian treaty ought to be greatly eridangered. 7 EUCHRE AS A CRIME, CLEKGYMAN of New Brunswick, New Jersey, tells of the “stale” look that women have after a night of wicked progressive cards, and says he knows because he calls on them in the morning. Perhaps he would be happier if he called in the afternoon ; certainly the women would —and still more so perhaps if he didn’t call at all. A THEORY. WRITER advances the theory that the Maine was blown up by Spaniards to provoke a demand for indemnity, and that, having no money, Spain will tender Cuba to the United States and so be enabled to get out of a bad scrape with some little dignity. Probably not true; but it is easier to believe it of Spaniards than of any other race. THE REMOTE RESPONSIBILITY. THE KILLING of a black southern postmaster is charged by the At- lanta Constitution on the president, who, thinks that paper, had no business to make him postmaster. When responsibility can be shifted as easily as that, why should any murderer be hanged? Going further back for the cause of the crime, why not charge it upon the Creator, who had no business to create black men or allow assassins to come into the world? THE RIGHT TO BE AMBITIOUS. **POLiTIcs as a highly desirable profession ” is a topic discussed by Presi- dent E. Benjamin Andrews, who says, “The common thought that it is mean to seek office or accept office unless it has sought the man is wholly perverse.” This is so palpably true that it ought not to need discussion. Ev- ery voter ought to be a poli- tician; and to cry down the office- seeker or the office- holder is to bring contempt to our system of government. Tay Ove Coe Dust “Reon WAR? TRS COUNTRY has lost millions of dollars through the war in Cuba. It is losing more every day. While it is well to count the cost of a war with Spain, would it not be cheaper than a continuation of the existing situation? ‘Then there is the matter of national honor and Spanish attacks upon it; and there is the cruel fact that hundreds of thousands of innocent Cubans have starved to death. Honor and humanity and’ business demand that Cuba shall have her freedom. AN UNFORTUNATE BIRD. F THE DOVE of universal peace which a western evangelist says he sees hovering in the air is really at that altitude it is going to drop its olive-branch and become very tired before it comes down, There is no country which isn’t at war or talking war; and the conservative old Chi- cago Tribune declares that war between Spain and this country actually began with the blowing up of the Maine, and is now being prosecuted with such vigor that the bird is liable to be frightened to death, THE DANGER !N EDUCATION. . ‘A CURMUDGEON" writes to the Wor/d in praise of the old-fash- ioned woman who milked cows and baked bread, and asks, ‘Is the college-bred woman of to-day any better? Is she an improvement?” The writer ought to state definitely where a woman's information should stop. Naturally a woman wants to be as wise as possible, and the danger of that superfluous information which unfits her for household duties must be’ very embarrassing. We dare say, by the way, that this gentleman would be willing to do the ditching and wood-chopping which are now attended to by his hired man, comicbooks.com