Judge — March 26, 1898 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

BIMBLESTEIN’S BELLIGERENCY. AT'S dot war talk—vat's dot shoud— 4 Vat's dees war-schare all apoud, Und der peoble’s loogk ohf care— SS) Is dere danger in der air? ) Vatch der news-poys—vatch dem fly ” Droo der sdreeds Extra!" cry. SE./ Shiminy Gristmus ! is id righd Dot dees coundry ’s got ter fight? Is it so alretty yet, Over war dot we must fret— Dot dose dogs ohf war let loose Bark und bite und raise der deuce? Cherman bands must den enlist, Wacht am Rhein air be dismissed, For der present must dot band Drop der tune of vaterland. Vangkee Toodle 's now der air— Spiehl id, poys, oud loud for fair ; Und Columbia, blay dot too ; ‘Thrill der yangkees through and through. Uncle Sam vill pay der freight— 2 Dot I'm gifing to you straight, You'll be blowed off to your bier Surely soon as war vas here, NO ACTUAL SHRINKAGE. Mr, PLoucner (angrily) —"* Jest look at them pants! An’ yew warranted ‘em not . THE PIG “SQUEALED.” (four a, m)—" What's wrong here?’ s a boorglar Oi hav, sor.” Orricer—" Was he in your house ?” Par—" He wor, an’ moight hov carried aff me vallybles if he hodn’t shtepped on th tail av me pig.” — A SOPORIFIC, THE. youthful poet sat in the front row, ‘Then wrote a sonnet to the dancer's toe. He read it to her ; did she laugh or weep? Neither, because it put her foot asleep. MURDER IN THE NINETY-EIGHTH DEGREE. Weather-observer — Pshaw! They can’t call it murder in the first degree.” Assistant —" Well, it looks like it, any way.” Weather- observer —*Good gracious, man! records say it was ninety-eight degrees that day 2” Don't the A POOR OPINION. Fosdick —* Tompkins isn’t much of a fellow, is he?” Keedick 0, he isn’t. ‘Tompkins is small pingrees and A new breed of chickens recently J J discovered—the ** Co-hen.” few in the hill. ter shrink.” Mr. Couten (6/andly) — ** Mein friendt, vateffer dose bants haf lost in der length dey haf gaint in der vidth, Uf der goods vos all dere vot gause haf you for gomblaint?" SENT HIS PROMISE, . ‘| SUPPOSE Ikestein sent the customary check to the boys after the fire?” “No, he didn’t; but he prom- ised to make it twice the usual amount the next time.” T IS only when a man is the under dog that he begins to . seriously think of turning reformer. EMPLOYMENT WANTED—MALES, want a job" said the hobo man To the advertisement clerk. * Lwant a job—yer understa’— Atanyting . but work." comicbooks.com