Judge — March 12, 1898 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

TERMS TO. SUBSCRIBERS. ‘One copy, one year, of $3 numbers - $00 ‘One copy, six months, or 20 numbers = 3.80 One copy. for thirteen weeks = 70 > 135, THE ARKELL PUBLISHING COMPANY (Juoct Buitorsc), Coraer Fifth Avenue and Sixteeath Street, New York. ulation larger tha: my other cartoon weekly in the world. 247 NOTICE TO PUBLISHERS.—The contents of Juoce are protected by copyright in both the United States and Great Britain, Infringement of this copyright will be promptly and vigorously prosecuted. $1,000.00 wit! be given to the contestant in JUDGE'S prize- puzzle competitions who Is the first to solve correctly every one of the puzzles in three successive contests. T MAY at least be asserted of Mr. Dingley’s hat that it never had a brick in it, A NEW KIND OP PILIBUSTERING. HE. MR. PATTERSON of Minneapolis who wants to colonize one hundred thousand Americans in Cuba, whose chief business it shall be to redeem lands and make sugar, would have a good scheme if two governments and a great many circumstances were not opposed to it. When the war is over he may succeed in it, but, alas! by that time we feel sure he will have forgotten all about it. FIGHTING DYSPEPTICS. MB. CORBETT says the punch oxer his solar plexus cured entirely a bad case of dyspepsia from which he had been suffering. It was pretty severe medicine, but no cure can be worse than that disease. ‘There are thousands who would be glad to go into a prize-fight with such a cure in view; but, such is the power of their misery, the professional puncher would be very likely to get knocked out in half the cases. DREADFUL WORDS. SSE SHALL MARCH in solid phalanx, with shields locked,” says Senator Jones, “down to the day of doom in our efforts for the restoration of silver, and the Republican cries that the issue of silver is dead will fall upon deaf ears." It was Jefferson Davis, we think, who substituted “the last ditch” for the day of doom, and Waite of Colorado who threatened to ride in blood up to the bridle of his fiery steed, The cause THE KAISER’S PAPERS talk free- a wr — ly about American impudence. { 44 Hah! Is there a worm in that, too? \y i Bostox has lost her right to be 1 WW called the literary centre, but she can claim to be the hub of the blizzard. if WHAT DE LOME most needs is a guardian and eternal relief from responsibilty. He suffers from arene prostration of his common sense. Promotor GRABLE is one of if those financiers who make two dollars grow where no dollar ever grew | before. } cee | TWAS the last regret of John Coch- L rane that he couldn't hold over long enough to paint the sky with his own says a lady, “and then do ex- actly the opposite.” Which shows faith in the system through constant insult of the author of it. funeral oration. ss] LOCK OUT for my intuition,” | Srrerercerers| ‘of the former is lost, and where is Waite of Colorado now? | AN EMERGENCY. se ]S IT BETTER.” asks a St, Paper, “to sue the woman for | breach of promise or to shoot the man \ who marries her?” There is no “bet- ter” in either. The only sensible way | is to grin and drop the subject. What { man would accept damages of that kind? and would it do him any good to do murder and get hanged for it? ‘There are some things in this world for which there is no remedy, and why seek for that which doesn’t exist? THE GUM HORROR. THE WAR against _gum-chewing begun by Bishop Vincent of the Methodist Episcopal church is the re- sult of too much thought on a very cheap subject. The bishop thinks that to resist gum is to prepare the young for self-sacrifice of a more important kind. If they forego gum they will THE WORM in the American apple has turned, It is found that it originated in Prussia, and, like curses and chickens, it goes home to mount its original tree and roost. Two OMINO! FACTS—That a girl won the debaters’ prize in Cor- nell this year, and that three girls were born to a lady in Mount Vernon, this state, immediately thereafter. HE MAN of Granville, this state, who hanged himself because his wife wouldn't neglect her infant to read the bible to him, might have been tremendously good, but he surely wasn’t orthodox. THE ORDER has gone out in Brooklyn that no man who beats his wife shall remain on the police force. Let it be declared of this borough that the innocent wives of others shall be equally free from beating and the dishonor of arrest, “Ain't it! attempting to kiss her !" ACCORDING to the Courter-Journal, Mr, Teller has allowed his blood to get the better of his judgment. It may be blood, but it looks more like self-interest. Mr, Teller has lost on his silver investments and he wants to get his money back, A SOCIETY CLUB in Chicago, composed’of leading ladies, will devote itself to the better breeding of cats. We have long looked for such an organization, It will fill a long-felt want. The cats of this country have been unrepresented too long. VEKY SHOCKING. “Ain't that new drama simply disgusting !" The idea of that big, handsome villain getting that dear little heroine into that dark room and then not even omit liquor, and if they let that alone they will let alone other things equally as bad. It is logic, but it is foolish- ness. And, strange as it seems, the bishop is actually in earnest. THE NOBILITY OF A RASCAL. sik ROBERT P who calls L of England, wko refuses to fight an American im a liar and a swindler, because the American is not his equal socially, is not such a stickler for the proprieties as he assumes to be. One surmises that, anyhow, because he refuses to return borrowed money, steals pictures that belong to the estate of his predecessors, and has written a bad book wherein he is chiefly successful in confessing him- self a scoundrel and a peddler of other people's confidences. IS THE LAW THE NOBLEST? MB: CHOATE reiterates the proposition that the law is the noblest profession, and remarks in defense of the fact that lawyers defend criminals whom they know to be guilty and have them acquitted, if pos- sible, by breaking the law, “‘It is only out of the contest of facts and of brain that the right can ever be evolved—only on the anvil of discussion that the spark of truth can be struck out.” But far more frequently it is the truth that is struck in; and again, would a lawyer defend a poverty- stricken criminal known to be guilty through respect for truth and the moralities? Then, too, the medical and ‘some other professions have a few claims that ought to be recognized. comicbooks.com