Judge — March 5, 1898 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

PUBLISHED ONCE A WEEK. TERMS TO SUBSCRIBERS. Une copy, one year, or $2 eumbers > $5.00 ne copy, six months, of 30 numbers - 3.40 One copy. for thirteen weeks === 138 Including the Cweistmas Juoce FOREIGN: SUBSCRIPTIONS —Te_ all fal union, $0.00 THE ARKELL PUBLISHING COMPANY (Juoct Bune), Corner Fitth Avenue and Sixteenth Street, New York. 6B Circulation Larger than any other cartoon weekly in the world. £27 NOTICE TO PUBLISHERS.—The contents of Juoce are prote both the United States and Great Britain vigorously prosecuted, nt by copyright in Infringement of this copyright will be promptly and $1,000.00 witt be given to the contestant in JUDGE'S prize- puzzle competitions who Is the first to solve correctly every one of the puzzles in three successive contests. THE DEMOCRACY of this country are wedded to the silver calf and there is to be no divorce. THE FIGHT of Senator Mason with a Washington hotel-clerk was evidently settled in executive session. S DOLE is over six feet high it is ob- viously unjust to speak of him, as several papers do, as a low schemer. WITH ALL his greatness George Washington was modest enough to be as satisfied with one birthday as if he had had a dozen HIGHWAY ROBBERY is mentioned by Chicago's chief of police as an indiscretion. We had supposed it to be a popular amusement. WESTERN PAPER mentions Sen- ator Hill as the Moses to lead the Democratic party out of the wilderness, Ab, but where was this Moses when the Democratic light went out? PINGREE gives the Republican party some hope, because he says he will be in line with it directly. Very well. We shall hear the leaders cry out presently, “If Pingree is present let the battle begin.” seTHE HEAD EXPANDS," says young Mr. Edison, “ whenever one thinks intently.” If the reverse of this is true there are some persons whose heads will eventually become the size of a co- coanut. mahsaif on youah fader. Ie IS DOUBTFUL,” says the Kansas City 7imes, “if the present administration at Washington would fight a cut of roast bel.” What in the world would it want to fight such a thing as that for? THE TURKS ought to be satisfied with Prince George as governor of Crete, because whenever they wanted to capture the country its ruler would be certain to defend it by running away. THE BILL against flirting was promptly defeated in the Virginia senate. Bills for the regulation of human nature in these minor matters are safe enough, foolish as they are, because they can’t pass. THE SILVER MEN are said to have organized the national order of Mohawks. It is a fighting organization, and we are pleased to be- lieve that the members will scalp one another with great ability. THE MUMMY of Polemy II, Phitadelphus, king of Egypt, with a num- ber of other mummies of nearly as great distinction, is to be sold at auction in London.’ There is something of a desire in Germany to dispose ‘of the kaiser in the same way; but his majesty positively refuses to get himself in condition for the experiment. A PRECEDENT. THE SILVER PEOPLE have the Democratic party. Tammany hall says so, as does Senator Murphy. Where will the sound-money Democrats go? In ‘fifty-six the free-soil Democracy went with the new and vigorous Republican party, and have been with it ever since. THREE MAYORS. MB. CROKER is reminded that neither Mayor Van Wyck nor Mayor Harrison can be president next time. ‘The jump is too long, The former mayor of Elmira is far more eligible because of his experience as governor and senator. This portion of the unwritten law is fixed and unalterable. OUR SAFETY. SOME PERSONS affect to see in the fate of China the beginning of the end of this government, We shall know more about it, however, after the inevitable war between the great thieves in the vain effort to equitably divide the swag. By the time that is ended there may not be enough strength or good feeling on the part of the thieves to form the combination, BAD MAN. NATOR HANNA is severely re- buked by the Denver Fost because he didn’t kiss the bible when he was sworn in as senator. We don't know what is going to be done with that man, Every- thing he does seems to be wrong. It was a mistake that he got himself elected. He had the assurance to let the reporters give him a room in the white-house. And now his son’s wife is going to sue for a divorce and prove all manner of mean things about her husband, PROGRESS? COOKING LESSONS for men only are advertised in Boston. It is an- other sign of the advancement of woman. It means less dyspepsia, but unavoidably less marriage. The woman goes into the counting-room, the store and the business office. She thereby deprives the other sex of work and drives them to the drawing. room and the kitchen, Will there pres- ently be lessons for them in sewing and embroidery? Will the new man pound the piano and give pink teas? And will all that end some day in revolution? A DOUBTFUL SIGN. Susie Jackson (ecstatically) —** Oh. mamma! I's shuak Absalom ltibs me, ‘cause when he presses me toe his bosom kin feel his heart Crobbin’ violently.” Mus. Jacksox—" Humph ! Watahbury watch yo" feel robin"? EFFECT WITHOUT CAUSE. THE COUNTESS who represents Mrs. Besant in this country recently ex- plained in a lecture that the theosophists believed in “a causeless cause from which emanates the first cause, that is when manifestation takes place,” and told how “from that emanate rays of spirit which permeate all matter.” That is certainly going back to the beginning, to the great void which was apparently incapable of production —a state of nothingness, however, from which something began. But one of her listeners said, after profound and head-racking thought, “I don’t know vot she means; I vant to know what iss it"; and the remark was * received with great applause. ‘Am yo’ shuah it ain't his 1 got fooled dat way THE ORDER OF THE CROW women who can trace their ancestry back to a king are eligible. “The sons of the revolution are not as ambitious as that, but it is quite likely that they have better ancestors than the famous and infamous royalty to which they claim kinship. But an older order than all is mentioned by Lawyer Babcock of Elmira, who said in a speech at a recent dinner of the sons in question,“ I am not a son of the revolution, but a son of evolution, is a new organization, to which only and my ancestry antedates that which you honor to-night.” Without going back to the lizard and the tadpole, suppose there be an order of the sons and daughters of Adam and Eve. That, surely, will hit every distinguished nail on its noble head. comicbooks.com