Judge — February 26, 1898 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

PUBLISHED 0}! ‘A WEEK. TERMS TO SUBSCRIBERS. ‘One copy, one year, or $2 numbers - $5.00 ix months, or 30 umbers = 3.50 I Circulation larger t toon sweekly in the world. £2 NOTICE TO PUBLISHERS.—The contents of Juoce are protected by copyright in both the United States and Great Britain. Infringement of this copyright will be promptly and vigorously prosecuted. $1,000.00 witt be given to the contestant in JUDGE'S prize- puzzle competitions who is the first to solve correctly every one of the puzzles in three successive contests. N THE FRENCH chamber of deputies the fist is mightier than the sword. THE FREEDOM of the press is not as dangerous as that of some of our law-makers. WITH TWO REPUBLICANS in the national senate from Maryland it does seem as if ! the war was over. THE SOUTHERN SLAVE had a pretty good time of it. His owner couldn't afford to kill him by starvation and overwork. WE HOPE Mr. Ellsworth hasn't concluded that because some newspapers are bad all newspapers must be prohibited. CONVICT LABOR cught to give us good roads. There is no other proper use for it and there is noproper objection to it, | CHICAGO does not call her po- lice the finest, but they are apparently more accomplished as highway robbers than those of any other town A TEXAS PAPER says Mr. Bry- an is not worrying about a running mate in nineteen hundred. Why, of course not. His chief trouble relates to the other horse, [7 WILL be news to most. per- sons that there is a Lord Henry Somerset. Not only that, but his wife counts him among her charities and gives him two thousand pounds every year. A CLERGYMAN says dancing must be wrong because women prefer to dance with men and men with women. If anybody favors danc- ing after that he must be lost to the power of all argument. man, and eat your dinner. soon as you have finished.” ended wid alternatin’ currents.” CERTAIN PERSONS of North Carolina carry goat-whiskers in their pockets as a preventive of small-pox. It is a clear matter of super- stition, and the persons of that ignorance are too happy to be pitied. MR: DONNELLY says he is proud that a lady of twenty-one should see enough in him at sixty-six to be willing to marry him. Very well; let us see whether she will cipher him some time after the cere- mony. NANSEN COMPLAINS that some of the newspapers have caricatured 2 him. Dear soul! if he is tender against the means to his succrss Ike that it seems impossible that he could have endured the perils of the frozen regions, A CHANGE IN THE BILL-OF-FARE, WARDEN (‘0 prisoner about to be electrocuted)—" Hurry up. my ‘You will be taken to the electric chair as KRRY THE THUG (disconsolately)—" Well, I've et menny a din- ner dat finished wid nuts an’ raisins; but dis is de first one dat ever THE OLD FIGHT OVER AGAIN. THE VOTE on the Teller resolution shows that the Republicans are solid for sound money, while the Democrats are practically solid for silver. If there are changes it will not be on the Republican side, while the Dem- ocrats will grow stronger for silver and the Chicago platform will become the foundation of the party in the next national election, MASTER AND SLAVE, HARD WORK enables a woman weaver in New Bedford to earn six dollars a week, but her employers reduce that to three dollars by fines. A little further reduction might not only wipe out the balance but oblige the woman to pay the employers a considerable weekly sum. Let us consider therefore how generous the employers are and how conserva- tively they use their power for tyranny. THE NEW ABBOTTISM, EAR OLD DR. ABBOTT is saying such dreadful things! He says dancing is good, with limitations; alcohol is proper, with the same proviso; taste in dress is right, and so as to diamonds; and if the theatre sends you back to life refreshed and invigorated, why go and enjoy your- self, There is a new Beecher in the old man, though he admits that “truth is dangerous; the only thing that is safe is platitude.” BETTER THAN DIVORCING. A JUDGE of this town says to husbands and wives who want to get divorced, “Separate; live apart for six months and think it over.” If that advice were generally followed there wouldn't be one divorce where there are six now. Indeed, the separated would resume relations with j such avidity that the reunion would be as good as another honeymoon, One can do a good deal of first- rate thinking under such circum- stances in six months, THE MATTER OF PRO- L) PRIETY. HE LADY TEACHER who dissected a live cat in one of ‘our public schools the other day has resigned, but the children and public sentiment against. her are still ill, If vivisection is allowable, there is still a question with regard to its surroundings. It might be ] well to comprdmise matters by put- ting a butcher-shop in every school —that wouldn't shock anybody half as much; but it is not the purpose of teaching to make barbarians of children. DO WOMEN LAUGH? SOYVHY." asks a writer, “do women laugh so much more frequently than men?” The writer is misinformed, They do not laugh. They giggle. They have a superficial understanding of things that ought to be laughed at, and it perishes when the giggle does. A solid, comforting, substantial funny thing that abides with a man for days is to them but the faint tickle of a fancy that dies as soon as it is born and that therefore wishes it hadn't been born at all. WHAT WE NEED. HE PRESIDENT is right in his opinion that immigration must be limited. We keep out Chinese and paupers and scoundrels as far as possible; otherwise we should have been swamped by the Chinese mill- ions and this might have been a Bottany-bay for all Europe. “But,” say certain newspapers, “we need two hundred millions more inhabitants.” ‘That may be. but all that in good time. When a man builds a house he doesn’t build it for the population of a town and he isn’t mean because he reserves it for his own family. And it isa fact that, while inanimate things are protected, human flesh and blood are largely at the mercy of the world. What we need more than a larger population is a regulation of the mutual interests of labor and capital. comicbooks.com