Judge — January 15, 1898 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Mudge. PUBLISHED ONCE A WEEK. TERMS TO SUBSCRIBERS. UNITED STATES AND CANADA IMC ADVANCE. 1 year, oF $2 numbers i months, or 26 number One copy: for thineen weeks => cluding the Ciasstnas Jvoce FOREIGN SUBSCRIPTIONS —Te alt . a'year. ‘THE JUDGE PUBLISHING COMPANY (Jupce BuiLpine) ai Corner Fitth Aveaue and Sixteeath Street, New York. EW-Circulation larger than any other cartoon weekly in the world. £27 NOTICE TO PUBLISHERS.—The contents of Juoce are protected by copyright in both the United States and Great Britain. Infringement of this copyright will be promptly and vigorously prosecuted. $1,000.00 witt be given to the contestant in JUDGE’S prize- puzzle competitions who is the first to solve correctly every one of the puzzles in three successive contests. 44] WANT to be fair.” says Mrs, Lease. Oh, you are, dear—you are. PINGREE says asphalt is the paving of the future. Nonsense! It never could be made to stand the excessive heat. WE. HOPE it may be said, speaking of the effort to have John Y. McKane pardoned, that injunctions don’t go in Sing Sing prison either. HE PROSPERITY of Chicago is somewhat indicated by the fact that she has to have a vigilance committee to protect her citizens from highway robbery. THE. WIFE of Fitzsimmons is wise in refusing to let her husband go into the ring again. ‘The fluke—we think that is the word—doesn’t occur in this kind of battle more than once. THE CL GYMAN of Baltimore who opposes Sunday ice-cream, Sunday street-cars and Sunday excursions is quite unreasonable. We shall find him oppos- ing the Sunday sermon next. MB: BRYAN is wise in refusing to study the silver question in Mexico. It may be remembered that he also re- fused to study the wheat question in Kan- sas after a destructive season of grass- A RESEMBLANCI SPANISH BARBARISM. ‘THE IMPUDENCE of the Spaniards of both Spain and Cuba in re- sponse to President McKinley's conservative kindness and courtesy is most surprising; but their threats are so funny that it may be good- naturedly overlooked. It really ought to occur to some authority, how- ever, that too many people in Cuba are being starved to death. OLD GLORY. BRANDER MATTHEWS is too severe in his objection to the term old glory as applied to the national banner. It may be slang, but it is patriotism. It means affection in the briefest possible wording. It is poetry. It is a shout and a song. It is emotional enough to bring tears. It is the prettiest name the old banner ever had. Long may it wave, A FAIR CHANCE FOR WOMEN. [8 FORTY-NINE no women went to California. The difference be- tween that period and this is strikingly shown in the fact that thousands of women are going to the Klondike. They have the requisite courage for any kind of business that men can do, and it will turn out probably that they have the endurance too, Great are the changes as to women within these memorable fifty years. DIVIDED, THEY FALL. THE FEDERATION of women’s clubs at Syracuse was ruled by So- rosis in the selection of a president, and the opposition bitterly says it did so through a Tammany system of politics. Thus the federation is at war with itself, and the result is an immensity of grief and hysterics, to be followed by the hopeless fracture of the entire establishment. It is singular that women cannot dwell together in unity— any more than men can. THE TRIUMPH OF ENDUR- ANCE. THE BRUTALITY of a six-day bieycle contest in this town is condemned by every editor in the country; but the dear boys were kind enough to refrain from their destructive criticisms until it was known which man was the winner. There is a good deal of human nature in their curiosity, too; and, really, after the contest the least tired of the general public were the contestants themselves. We may be governed too much; and certainly bicy- cling and foot-ball will go right on. PEACE? E HAVE TRIED to believe that the year comes in under a faint rainbow of peace. There isn’t excessive warfare such as came with the advent of hopper. People who used to see Hockstein at the window with the ‘ninety-seven. The Spaniards and the between the United States and Japan virtually expresses the opinion that the little wretches have their fighting power at the sacrifice of their common sense, ‘THE YELLOW JOURNAL that predicted the destruction of the world by a sun-spot should be severely punished. ‘The Millerites ought to have a monopoly of these frightful disappointments. brother the kaiser is and shall be PRINCE HENRY, in saying that hi “most serene, mighty and beloved emperor, king and master, forever and forever,” attempts a blow at the original trinity which is far from orthodox. THE TENDERNESS of the heart of the Reverend Mr. Howell of Mon- ticello, New York, is manifested by the fact that he beat his wife because the lady drove his pet cat out of the house, and spent five days in jail for it. [7 IS PROPER that Ohio Republicans should lead the attack in con- gress on the humbug of civil-service reform. They will presently find themselves at the head of their party as well as at the head of the public sentiment of the country. TAXATION and the educational test have disfranchised the black men of several southern states, “Thus arises the old question as to the Fights of states against the nation and the national constitution; and in comparison with it the case of John Y. McKane seems tame. twins. daily. declared him a model domestic father; but his ene- LEW WALLACE in predicting a war ™2 nothing but a business ad. when looking in at the trio. Cubans are not killing each other, but merely dying of starvation and fever, and the Greeks are as quiet as a whipped and sobbing babe. The Armenians are as peaceful as the grave, and the Philippines give out no news with the exception of a few unimportant lies. But, good gracious! there is that Austrian parliament. PAN-AMERICA AND PAN-EUROPE. A GERMAN PAPER suggests a combination of the European powers against the Monroe doctrine, and a French paper intimates that Spain will have assistance in case of a fight with the United States with regard to Cuba. An ardent desire to be mean is thus developed; but behind it is the older meanness that has wanted these many years to break up the natural protection against war in which every American, north, central and south, honestly believes. What mischief Cuba may provoke cannot be predicted; but Mr. Blaine’s pan-American congress ought to have an- other session, MILK AND MARBLE, BOSTON LADY says, giving advice to her too-retiring sisters, “A shrinking self-effacement can in time be overcome by throwing out the chest and carrying the head high in a regal attitude of self-confidence.” Yet it is buncombe. It is fraud. A regal attitude of self-confidence is utterly impossible to a shrinking self-effacement. The trouble is that somebody always comes up to it and remarks “Boo!” in a rude manner, and immediately the regal attitude closes itself against the world like a sensitive plant. No, dear lady; you can't make marble out of cream— and on the whole the cream is best. comicbooks.com