Judge — January 1, 1898 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

iape. PUBLISHED ONCE A WEEK TERMS TO SUBSCRIBERS. One copy, one year. or $2 numbers - $5.00 One copy: six months, or so numbers = 40 One copy, fer tireen snes IAs FORE. Soreign countries in the postat uni ‘a year. THE JUDGE PUBLISHING COMPANY (Junce Buin Corner Fifth Avenue od Sixteenth Street, New York. eekly in the world. E27 NOTICE TO PUBLISHERS.—The contents of Juve: both the United States eat Britain. vigorously prosecuted. jected by copyright Infringement of this copyright will be promptly and $1,000.00 wit! be given to the contestant in JUDGE’S prize- puzzle competitions who Is the first to solve correctly every one of the puzzles in three successive contests. THE PEACE SOCIETY will make no progress until the law-makers of the Austrian parliament are sent to jail. YNCHING is really worse than foot-ball, and yet no southern law- maker proposes to take effective measures to stop that. ONE PAPER in this town got hold of the president's message at least a week before the president had begun to write it. That's journalism, too. THERE is talk of running Judge Parker for president it seems strange that Brother Coxey of Ohio.has not announced himself for the same position. H WEVLER finds it easier to whip the United States in Spain than he found it to whip the insurgents in Cuba. There always have been warriors of that kind. S NINE different nationali- ties are represented in the Austrian parliament, is it any wonder that the conversation therein is a reminder of the tower of babble? Mrs. name?” ‘Mas, O'Brizx—"* Pathrick Riley. Murpnty: PAISM, or the present-day know-nothingism, is said to have given up the ghost. If it ever had a ghost to give up it must have hooked it from some other corpse. SOME PORTION of the government of Holland has forbidden the rid- ing of a bicycle by the impending queen; so, of course, the young lady has very properly begun to learn. EVERY PLACE investigated by Editor Stead is pronounced worse than all the others put together. We should think it would profit this man to pick out some decent company occasionally. THE RIGHT of a woman to search her sleeping husband's pockets is not questioned. ‘The thing complained of is her habit of uttering blasphemy and tearing her hair when she can’t find anything to steal PROGRESS for the mere purpose of bigness is childishness; and years from now the breaking up of the bigness of greater New York. with minor borough legislatures with large authority, will be the great cry of reform. ae EELY’S MOTOR is now a flying- machine which paralyzes gravitation through a “sympathetic outreach"; though, to be sure, the sympa- thetic outreach belonged to the original invention if the experience of cer- tain capitalists is any criterion to go by. A FOREIGN NOBLEMAN, “So Mamie Kelly is t’ marry a foreign nobleman? Ie is a dirict descindent av an Oirish king.” FALSE PRIDE. THE PRIDE which would make Spain crave a short war with the United States as a means to craw! gracefully down from her altitude in Cuba is not attended with a desire for justice or any respect for common, sense. It is the meanest and foolishest of bluff; and a confession of defeat would be twice as manly and would save a great many lives. HER FATE HER FORTUNE. $$ CISNEROS can marry as soon as she chooses, not to say as often, and she has her choice of several fortunes, Well, she had a hard time of it while a prisoner, and under the law of compensation she is en- titled to all possible good fortune. Let her learn our language, and with her book or her lecture she can get rich without any outside generc A GREAT AND GUILTY MAN. THE MISFORTUNES resulting from the late elections were due be- yond doubt to the absence of Dr. Parkhurst. The absence was treason and the man ought to be hanged for it. We have always thought that if Dr. Parkhurst had been Adam there wouldn't have been any fall. And because of his absence at that time he ought never to have been born. THE PITY OF IT. THE REVEREND DR, JOHNSON of Washington. who spoke against um, jesuitism and socialism,” undoubtedly intended to Burchardize himself, The phrase was a paraphrase of that of Burchard, The man wanted notoriety, and is probably gratified that he has it And it is twice a pity that such a man as that should have the power to make the church ridiculous, THE GIRL AND THE CHURCH, S!X PRETTY GIRLS act as ushers in a Trenton, nd pass the plate Presently there will be excursion - trains to and from that establishment, and the con- gregation will get so rich that it will pass most of its time in the pleasing work of cutting its cou- pons. Yet there are still church €s that insist on silence on the part of the better half of their members, however much the money they command may be able to talk. THE RIGHT OF CRITI- CISM. HE PUNISHMENT of a cartoon publisher and sev- eral other German citizens for disrespect to the kaiser is evi- dence that his majesty has a cheap head as well as a thin skin. Men worthy of the car- toon recognize the compliment involved in it, however severe it may be; and the right of criticism belongs to every man who pays taxes to his government. And the kaiser must inevitably suffer more as a result of his childishness than any of the men he puts in jail. NOT FOR OUR GEORGE. THE PROPOSITION of David Christie Murray that Englishmen pay for a statue of George Washington to be put up in London smacks of the exceeding amiability of the man who, smitten on one cheek, smil- ingly turns the other to his assailant for similar punishment, But we hope the scheme will fail. Such a statue would invite abuse on the part of Englishmen which would amount to gross humiliation of the memory of our first president. Cyrus Field put up a monument to Major André and we all know the result of his forgiving generosity. MUCH TOO PREVIOUS. THE HOLIDAY PUBLICATIONS are responsible for a great evil, ‘They usher in the most popular of the saints two months before he is ready for the reception and while his attire is unfitted to the occasion. They put the family man to large and unnecessary expense and apprehen- sion. They force the Christmas thought and the Christmas purse so pre- maturely that the world tires of them before they should have begun. Shall they be issued next year on the fourth of July or some tine in Sep- tember? Time has no forelock now. It has been yanked out. And the Phwat is his best thing about the Christinas holidays is the fact that they are finally over. comicbooks.com