Judge — January 1, 1898 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

40 ape THE CHRISTMAS PRETENDER. HEN Christmas-time is almost here, And folks begin to wink Anol And bush their talk when I come near, to bis h Then I begin to think eater Tl write to Santa Claus about Ashen ‘The things I want to fill My stockings—he won't get the note, Bat I pretend he will. ing to charge I slip it in the envelope French And put it with the mail, and usi ‘And beg mamma to send it Rocked By the postman—without fail ; And thank her, when I find it gone, Dad For doing as I bid— pr I know she never sent it off, one of Bat I pretend she did. sine I take my stockings, Christmas eve, Roxbur And by the chimney-side Thang them while I wish that they Bro Were twice as long and wide ; ‘ it is p. Ace woe tow ere ‘ THE DAY WE CELEBRATE. Lawyer india imacaepaced Mn A peel First noy—"* Too much Santa Claus, eh?" why st Of course { know it really can't, \ m isk But I pretend it can, Seconp Boy—" No ; too much Santa Cruz! Bates And when, on Christmas morning, All the things | wanted so . A WILD-WEST CHRISTMAS-TREE. Are sichlog {rom SY seeking: tops, *sLJUH!” scornfully sniffed the landlord of the Min- hog and Liat ing mother ers’ Mecca, elevating his Roman proboscis ‘And my father too, because until it looked like Pike's Peak. “I ‘low ez how we T know it's mostly them, thoogh T air sum punkins ourselves when it comes ter havin’ Pretend it’s Santa Claus. Mus, GEORGE ACH! Chris'mus-trees !" ‘The man from Boston had been giving { vivid descriptions of Yule-tide doings “ back \ home,” and by word and manner con- veyed a very strong impression of | disgust and discontent with present surroundings, which the landlord, | being a born and bred westerner, felt bound to resent. | Oh, pshaw now !” scoffed the : \ man from the Hub; “if I believed \ Trial} 1 THE UP-TO-DATE. Ts Christmas one and all alike May miss the reindeer’s. merry jingle, For rumor says upon a bike We'll have our visit from Kriss Kringle THINK you! A man’s wife = judged by the necktie that B he wears. that you'd be trying to sell me a gold brick next. Why, honestly, I THE BOY. don’t think you people out here Piere’s naught like Christmas to know the difference between a | disclose Christmas-tree and a telegraph - That he is full of humors ; No more he hangs his little hose, But borrows sister's bloomers. pole. Thar hain’t no difference with | us!" replied the landlord, casually stropping his bowie- knife on the ACCUSTOMED TO CONVENIENCES. W RE business transacted on RacoLes —* Wake up, Weary. Our train ‘s com heel of his boot. The Hubite some- Christmas day would it be a Weary (sleepily)—" Is it er stock-train 7" how felt that airy persiflage wasn’t sdene of * peace ‘on earthy: good will Racouss — I dunno, bat de boys is all gittin’ on board the order of the day, but he had ) Well, unless de compartment I is ter ockypy is fitted wid de regerlashun sheep-heatin’ appliances I stays right hyar.”” goné too far to back out. “You don't mean to tell me that you use telegraph-poles for Christmas-trees?" he gayly remarked "Yep!" was the terse reply. “They make rale good ‘uns, too. We hev ‘em all through the year, but we takes ‘special pains and pride with this ‘un at Chris’mus.” "Dear me!" stammered the puzzled man from Bos- ton; “Christmas-trees all the year ‘round and you use tele- graph-poles. What on earth do you hang on them “Fresh tenderfoots !" Five minutes later the Boston man was worrying the life out of the station- agent, trying to find when the next train left. BE JOYFUL. NOW life isalla merry rhyme, For joy the day is sent ; So have your fling at Christmas- to men” time, On New-year's you repent. HOW IT HAPPENED. + GIVE a poor man a Christ- = : Frienp —“ Did your husband provide for that monument in toasted’ and betel Zi hi his will 7” ake 5 = oa rf Wipow—" Why, of course he did, You don't suppose he'd bang himself—if his creditors le ¢ have got such a monument as that any other way, do you?" don't get an injunction. A CASE OF CHAMPAGNE (SHAM PAIN). comicbooks.com