Judge, 1897-12-25 · page 7 of 19
Judge — December 25, 1897 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from the satirical magazine Judge contains several humorous pieces mocking American society circa early 1900s: **"A Bigger Racket"** satirizes the disruption caused by patent-right salesmen. A Kansas cyclone survivor explains he slept through the disaster because two aggressive "patent-right men" arguing in the next room made so much noise that even the storm couldn't wake him—suggesting these door-to-door inventors were considered more annoying than natural disasters. **"R.C. to G.N.Y."** appears to reference Richard Croker and Tammany Hall politics in New York City, mocking the corrupt political machine's influence. Other brief comedic sketches include doctor's humor about Christmas indigestion, phonograph dinner entertainment, and children's innocent misunderstandings (a child defining "b.C." as "Before Christmas"). The fables and domestic humor reflect turn-of-the-century American anxieties about technology, urban politics, and middle-class life. Most satire targets commercial excess and technological "progress" rather than specific political events.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
uage JUDGE'S FABLES. THE RAVEN AND THE FOX. SLY old fox once espied a raven with a choice lump of cheese in its beak. “What beautiful plumage!” he cried. “ Now if you could only sing as well as you look“ Hastily swallowing the cheese, the wise raven opened its beak and poured forth a pacan that sent Rey- nard immediately into his hole. Moral —Flattery doesn't always take the cheese. eee, IN WILLIE’S MIDST. Mother — Oh, doctor, what is the matter with him?” Physician (with his hand on Wil- lies stomach) —" Nothing serious, 1 think, madam; merely the annual Christmas gathering.” A BIGGER RACKET. ++ JOW did it happen.” asked the editor of a Kansas newspaper, addressing one of the mangled wretches who had just been dug out from under the wreck of the village hotel, “that you did not hear the approach of the cyclone? I should think that the roar of the storm, the crashing of the falling walls, and the shouts of the frightened OUT OF THE COLD. people would have aroused you from the soundest sleep and "— Jupae— Vou hare told an honest, stralghtforward story. “Oh, | wasn’t asleep,” answered the victim of the cyclone’s fury amid his groans I will therefore be good and give you ninety days.” . of anguish; “but, you see, there was a couple of patent-right men in the next room to beget er Pel od peers pee ¢ patent-rigl got yer riled yer'd flare up an’ on'y give me tirty days er dis- mine, squabbling about the merits of their respective inventions.” charge me. Honesty is de best policy. T’ank yer, jedge.” Stee) ame ese) = R.C.TOG.N.Y. 1 F GREATER New York were queen, And Richard Croker her king, He'd give her as Christmas gift A brilliant Tammany ring. SEASONABLE, Teacher (in Sunday-school class)—" Now, boys, see if you can remember what I taught you last time, What does b.C. stand for?" * Before Christmas!" DINNER MUSIC BY PHONOGRAPH. A way in which the musically inclined can be accommodated without causing annoyance to those who { are of a different turn of mind. 3 SYMPATHY. ToMMyY's grand- father had slip- | ped on the ice and | Y broken his leg. The night after the ac- cident Tommy was overheard at his prayers—* Dear Lord, bless poor grandpa's broken leg, and—and bless everybody else’s broken legs too.”” KNEW HER, Mamma (read- ing letter) —* Chil- dren, Aunt Jane: is coming to. spend Christmas with us.” Davie—'Hub! THE HEIGHT OF IMPUDENCE. Tl bet ol’ Santa HayLorr Hoxtry (reaching down unexpectedly)—" Parding, sir; bat would yer kindly put some uv dat milk in dis flask uv whisky fer me? Me pard up here " fas is feelin’ indisposed dis mornin’ an’ he sez dere hain't nothin’ dat brightens him up Year ‘thout bein’ like milk-punch,”” seen.” A LIVING PICTURE, won't get in this comicbooks.com