Judge — December 25, 1897 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

uage JUDGE'S FABLES. THE RAVEN AND THE FOX. SLY old fox once espied a raven with a choice lump of cheese in its beak. “What beautiful plumage!” he cried. “ Now if you could only sing as well as you look“ Hastily swallowing the cheese, the wise raven opened its beak and poured forth a pacan that sent Rey- nard immediately into his hole. Moral —Flattery doesn't always take the cheese. eee, IN WILLIE’S MIDST. Mother — Oh, doctor, what is the matter with him?” Physician (with his hand on Wil- lies stomach) —" Nothing serious, 1 think, madam; merely the annual Christmas gathering.” A BIGGER RACKET. ++ JOW did it happen.” asked the editor of a Kansas newspaper, addressing one of the mangled wretches who had just been dug out from under the wreck of the village hotel, “that you did not hear the approach of the cyclone? I should think that the roar of the storm, the crashing of the falling walls, and the shouts of the frightened OUT OF THE COLD. people would have aroused you from the soundest sleep and "— Jupae— Vou hare told an honest, stralghtforward story. “Oh, | wasn’t asleep,” answered the victim of the cyclone’s fury amid his groans I will therefore be good and give you ninety days.” . of anguish; “but, you see, there was a couple of patent-right men in the next room to beget er Pel od peers pee ¢ patent-rigl got yer riled yer'd flare up an’ on'y give me tirty days er dis- mine, squabbling about the merits of their respective inventions.” charge me. Honesty is de best policy. T’ank yer, jedge.” Stee) ame ese) = R.C.TOG.N.Y. 1 F GREATER New York were queen, And Richard Croker her king, He'd give her as Christmas gift A brilliant Tammany ring. SEASONABLE, Teacher (in Sunday-school class)—" Now, boys, see if you can remember what I taught you last time, What does b.C. stand for?" * Before Christmas!" DINNER MUSIC BY PHONOGRAPH. A way in which the musically inclined can be accommodated without causing annoyance to those who { are of a different turn of mind. 3 SYMPATHY. ToMMyY's grand- father had slip- | ped on the ice and | Y broken his leg. The night after the ac- cident Tommy was overheard at his prayers—* Dear Lord, bless poor grandpa's broken leg, and—and bless everybody else’s broken legs too.”” KNEW HER, Mamma (read- ing letter) —* Chil- dren, Aunt Jane: is coming to. spend Christmas with us.” Davie—'Hub! THE HEIGHT OF IMPUDENCE. Tl bet ol’ Santa HayLorr Hoxtry (reaching down unexpectedly)—" Parding, sir; bat would yer kindly put some uv dat milk in dis flask uv whisky fer me? Me pard up here " fas is feelin’ indisposed dis mornin’ an’ he sez dere hain't nothin’ dat brightens him up Year ‘thout bein’ like milk-punch,”” seen.” A LIVING PICTURE, won't get in this comicbooks.com