Judge — December 25, 1897 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

PUBLISHED ONCE A WEEK. TERMS TO SUBSCRIBERS. One copy, one year, or §3 numbers» $5.00 One copy, sit months, or 36 numbers = "ho One copy, for thineen weeko = ss 135 cloding the Conisraas Jvbct FOREIGN SUBSCRIPTIONS —To alt SJorviga conntriss ta the pital waton, $6.00 area. THE JUDGE PUBLISHING COMPANY (JupcE BuILDING). Corner Fifth A: 1d Sixteenth Street, New York. ation larger than any other cartoon weekly in the world. 2 NOTICE TO PUBLISH both the Unived States and sly prosecute RS.—The contents of Juoce are protected by copyright in at Britain. Infringement of this copyright will be promptly and HAWAIL as a Christmas present to Uncle Sam would be equivalent to asking for turkey and getting a stone. THE SULTAN will have great trouble with the czar and Francis Joseph until the indemnity from Greece is used up. HEN JAMES G. BENNETT makes up his mind he immediately tears it to pieces for a little further consideration of the subject. ‘THOSE PERSONS who think David B. Hillis politically dead ought to look back and reflect how many of his own funerals he has survived. GENERALLY, defeated candidates strike straight for the presidency, but Mr. Gorman is modest. All he wants is to be governor of Maryland. SWE ARE CALM. perfectly alm,” says Henry Watterson. It is not that—it is petrifaction, ‘The late elec tion in Kentucky paralyzed him. [71S PROPOSED to extract trillions of gold and silver from sea-water, and we look ahead to the time when some great trust will buy up the two great oceans, MO8MON ELDERS to the number of twenty-one are proselyting in Indi- ana alone. It is possible that the people of that state are out of tar and feathers, [7 MAY be supposed that “good will to men” incidentally includes women, but the new person of that sex would like to have it so stated in the next new bible. THE KAISER claims the throne of England because bis mother is Vie- toria's oldest child. Perhaps he wants the earth because of his rela- tionship to Adam. ON de grand run,” THE GIRLS of Lasell seminary voted against the right to vote, eighty- one to forty-two. What availeth an education if the possessors of it have lost their ambition to be conspicuous? ABOUT TEN PICTURES a day of Mrs, Nack and Martin Thorn in the daily newspapers would seem to indicate that they are the most distinguished assassins of the period, not omitting Mr. Luetgert. GERMAN claims to be a son of the late Mr. Pullman and wants his money. Evidently the millionaire was quite as unfortunate with his forgotten offspring as he was with those who had his recognition. WE INDORSE the statement of a Milwaukee clergyman that the nude figures‘on a five-dollar bill are positively indecent. We have been so shocked by them that we have refused to receive innumerable bills of that denomination, eee OW MUCH DIFFERENCE 4s there between the attempted stealing of the Transvaal by Cecil Rhodes and the stealing of Hawaii by a mere fraction of her population? And if the United States annex Hawaii with her unrepresentative government will they not be the receivers of stolen goods ? HIS GUARD. Lrtie Bowate (watching Ais stocking\—"' If old Santy tries to work a ‘ninety-seven-model bicycle off oa me I'll give THE BEST EXPLANATION. $+GIR." remarked a man in a crowd to another man, “you have your hand in my pocket.” “V'y, so it is,” replied the thief in great surprise. “Vell, in this cold weather one doesn’t know where one does put one’s hands.” And we dare say the weather is responsible for the fact that the Reverend Mr. Peters recently preached a sermon once preached by Dr. Eliphalet Nott. A SOUND-MONEY SURRENDER. MBE: WATTERSON will not enter the silver-populist wigwam, but he says he will loiter outside and make no attack on it. Many of the other gold Democrats say substantially the same thing, though many more will undoubtedly join the Republican party, having no organization of their own, ‘Thus the fight will be for a little time to come between sound money and free silver, or between prosperity and ruin, A GREAT EVIL. THE JURY and the judge that recently rebuked a lawyer for putting an insulting question to a lady witness have set an example that ought to mitigate a great evil. Frequently a witness is treated worse than if he were the prisoner at the bar. The lawyer guilty of that cruel injustice ought to be held responsible for it, and if the court will not protect a lady against insult her friends ought to have the right of punishment. THE WOMAN IN FICTION. OLIVE LOGAN returns to life for the purpose of rejoicing over Mrs. Langtry's financial success, She does not love Mrs. Langtry and abhors her alleged relations with the prince of Wales and some other men; but she is glad to see one case wherein the woman is not stamped in the mud, even if the man is coddled and forgiven. ‘There is something in that, and Thomas Hardy and Hall Caine ought 0 be obliged to think of it, THE ONLY WAY. TWO POLICEMEN in Boston are hard at work trying to prevent the students of a medical school and those of a young ladies’ seminary from looking at each other, The schools are close together and the students are let out at the same times every day. If the plan worked the young persons would be less or more than human. It won't. There is only one sure way of stopping the mischief, and that is to abolish the schools. WHAT! NO SANTA CLAUS? Muck OF, THE POETRY of Christ- mas will be lost if, as proposed, the story of Santa Claus is dropped. The good old saint has existed too long, and his story is too pretty, to be taken away from the children of to-day and to-mor- row. It is a most-excellent lie; and if the iron-clad truth-teller must have his way then let us abolish every legend in every book and so put aside the finest of our literature, in verse and prose, and confine ourselves to the uninteresting fact. OPENING A CHESTNUT-BURR. A WOMEN’S SOCIETY for political study recently tried and acquitted Aaron Burr. He was forgiven for his gallantries to women other than his wife. “Had he lived in another age and time,” said one lady, speaking of these gallantries, “he would have been treated differently.” Evidently the present time was directly referred to, though we are glad to say that the lady didn’t press the point or defend the alleged fact very energetically. He was also forgiven for marrying Madame Jumel for her money; and then the society decided that it wasn’t proper to discuss the private lives of great men and hastily dropped the subject. RUIN AHEAD. GOVERNOR PINGREE has advanced sufficiently in politics to tell the Republican party exactly what it must do to escape oblivion. It must, for instance, come out for the interests of thé masses and cease catering to the trusts, The masses, however, appear to be somewhat in its favor if the late national election is any criterion to go by. And he pitches into the church, declaring that church-members who engage. in stock-jobbing schemes and bribe public servants are no Christians, So both the party and the church must go, must they? We have fallen upon evil times, or the gentleman of the potato is a false prophet and a bad, bad man. comicbooks.com