Judge — December 25, 1897 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

AT THE CHRISTMAS DINNER. Ss \VILL you have some of Ww the dressing?" asks Blithedale of his sister-in-law, while carving the turkey. “Papa is always so polite,” comments Buddie. “ He always says ‘dressing * to ladies, for he knows they like to look pretty; but when he serves gentlemen he calls it * stuffing,’ for they like lots to eat.” JOY FOR WILLIE, WILLIE JIMPKINS lost his leg — Got in a trolley’s way ; Santa brought a pair of skates For Willie's Christmas day. THREE OF A KIND. Young Master William (angrily, to his colored boy)—* What did you do with that parcel Miss Mollie sent over for my Christmas present?” * War dat fo’ yo? Ah done kep' it.” “You had no business to keep it. It had my name on it—Mr. Will.” KINETOSCOPE REALISM. ” o 7 A o Farmer Greenacre —"'I gol! this pictur’ of the beach at Ocean Grove Yes-sah, but dar’s three Marster Wills in dis yere house. Dar's me. ig yo dern nattoral you kin almost feel Jor lect witin’ wee ® sah; an’ yo’, sah; an’ ole boss, sah.’ STRIKING A BALANCE. THE fact that so many great men are small of stature has often been commented upon by historians and newspaper writers. For some feason it is equally true that in the public mind greatness of achievement and intellectual superiority are frequently supposed to be fittingly embodied in alarge frame. This diversity has often given rise to expressions of astonishment, but perhaps in no case in such an original way as at the | state funeral of the late General who Was no toriously a man of insignificant physique. “Is that all the size he was ?" inquired a stranger of one of the officers who were taking part in the ob- { sequies. “Yes,” replied the officer gravely ; ““ what you see | before you is all that was mortal of the great general.”” The stranger looked earnestly at the calm face for a time, as if meditating on some of the dead man's great deeds; then he looked up at the officer whom he had been questioning and exclaimed, “Gracious! what a whooping percentage of him IMPERTINENT. must have been immortal.” CLANcy—"' Be afther givin’ me wan railroad-ticket.” THe AGENT—* Where to?" CLaNcy —" None av yure biz- ness! Gimme thot ticket I" MERRY CHRISTMAS, DEACON! +s MMORNIN’,” said the deacon. ** Did ye ask me what we got ? Waal, now I kia tell ye ‘That we got an awful lot. Marthy got neuralgy, Georgie got th’ rheumatiz, Susan got a back-crick, An’ th’ brindle cow got friz Some thief got th’ turkey, An’ th’ family's feelin’ blue ; I'm off t git th’ doctor— Huh? 'Umph! yeah, same t’ you.” DAVID M. TALMADGE. HIS BUSINESS. +4] THIS your stock in trade?” asked Santa Claus of the Christmas-tree, looking at his half- filled limbs. “Mine is not the stockin” trade,” replied the Christmas-tree Lirtte Witte —" Pa, I want a nickel to give to a poor ragged boy outside.”* < Lire Witue —"* Here’ i : Pa—"* Certainly, Willie, and [am glad that my son chuckled Santa pound’ the stufin’ out of Joba fer eres outed thinks kindly of those who are poor and unfortunate.” Claus, filling another. to do.” comicbooks.com