Judge — December 18, 1897 — page 37: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

FROM JUDGE'S DICTIONARY. OLIC — A malady to which diplomatic youngsters are addicted about school-time. Ambiguity—A characteristic of political platforms, messages and like documents, with the exception of those relating to the Monroe doctrine. Cad—An author who thinks that the favor of a fin-de-siécle publishing-house constitutes him a leader of the age. Balaam—A walking delegate of the Phi- listines who lost his standing through an ill- advised strike. Backbiter—A devil's deputy who tells us the shortcomings of our neighbors in the effort to induce us to divulge some of our own, so he (or she) may be enabled to keep things warm at the other end of the line. A sort of com- mission merchant in the foibles, follies and imaginary evils of humanity, WHAT'S MARRIAGE FOR? Young man—" Why don’t you get up and give this poor lady a seat ?” A party —"Huh! Guess not! Why. my wife !” she's Dstt LUSIONME regarding Santa Claus is life's first awakening from the happy sleep of faith, HN Bi Christmas Judge. eteVATOR Mrs, Justwep- Ma, Justwen—" The very thing ON THE BIAS. A GENTLE What shall we buy for mamma?” Let us buy her that"beautiful and instructive wall-motto.” Dotty—" That man who called himself Prince Kropptovistch at Newport last summer turned out to be nothing but f ladies’ tailor from Paris.” Eriter—"* Well, we might have known, was the most biased man I ever saw.” He MANY A SLIP 'TWIXT CUP AND LIP. Mas. Jones (Christmas eve, ten-thirty o'clock)—"*V'll put the cart near the sink, so Bobby will see it when he comes down, to wash. It's altogether too large for his stocking ” HINT. NEEDED HELP. ONALD seemed greatly interested in watching a spider at work on its web, After a few moments the little fellow called to his mother, “Mamma, here's a poor, tiny spider all tangled up in its hair.” A MODERN MADRIGAL, se THERE is a garden in her face Where roses and white lilies grow.” Thus of his sweetheart’s charm and grace ‘The poet warbled long ago. But for the maiden of today Were he to weave a wordy wreath, Haply he'd thus begin his lay : “There is a Klondike in her teeth.” CAROLYN watts PLAYING GOLF ON SAINT NICK, Santa Claus (at the fireplace, the night before Christmas)—" Great chimneys! They are ringing in golf-stockings on me to such an extent that I'll have to either increase my transportation facilities, or leave over some of my orders until next year.” But no! it was not to be, as Mr. Jones, about two a. m., Christmas, needed, a drink and went after it in the dark. comicbooks.com