Judge — December 18, 1897 — page 34: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Christmas Judge. IN BLOOMINGDALE. ‘VistTor—"* You say this man is afflicted with homicidal melancholia? What terrible hallucinations he must have !* Keerer—"'Frightfal! He imagines all the time that next week is Christmas and that he has over two hundred near relations.” SANTA CLAUS ON HIS ROUNDS. S SANTA CLAUS whipped up his reindeer and dashed over the crisp snow the jolly old. man seemed to fall into a re- flective mood. The first stop was at Mr. Meanman’s house. “ This world is full of humbug,” laughed Santa Claus. “Here's an old skinflint who made me take his little boy's old sled and give it a coat of paint, hoping that the youngster would think it was a new one.” When he came to Hardup’s house Santa Claus disappeared down the chimney with his pack bulging with presents. “I hate to have to leave all these things here,” commented the old man, “for I really can’t see how Hardup is ever going to pay for them.” At the comer house he selected a number of presents. A few were good, but the majority were rather poor. “I despise all kinds of deception,” remarked Santa Claus, as he looked over the assortment, “but when I visit the grocer’s house I suppose { must put all the best presents in the top of each stocking.” As he stopped in front of a little cottage Santa Claus left his pack behind and dropped down the chimney with something tightly clinched in his hand. “Ah, me!” sighed the old map, “if this lover only knew how the engagement was going to end he would never have bought her this ring.” At another rich house Santa Claus went in with a cheap bargain-counter present slung over his shoulder. “ Hal ha!” laughed the jolly old fellow, “I guess Mr. Closefist would never have made that costly present if he had known he was going to get this cheap one in return.” A SECOND-RATER. ‘There was a puzzled expression on Santa Claus's face and he had to bunt all over his collection before he found Rev. GoopMax—"* Why are \ what he wanted. At last he found it over in a corner. It was a doll. ‘How times change,” soliloquized the old you crying. ed ile bie man. “Since this new-woman craze the girls don't care for dolls any more. Unless there is a return to reason and cee, Gelding i i h terly)—"* Because the doll I got the good old times J will soon, be carrying nothing but boys’ presents in my sack.” jamas jav o'conmmt, for Christmas can't.” Mug li! yee, at |) GENEALOGICAL COmmmoNT 1997 er THE JUDGE PURLUSNNG CONRAN OF RW TORE A family tree. comicbooks.com