Judge, 1897-12-18 · page 29 of 53
Judge — December 18, 1897 — page 29: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This holiday-themed satirical page from *Judge* magazine contains several brief comic sketches mocking Victorian-era social conventions: **"Her Game"** mocks romantic entanglement through sports metaphors—a woman controls a man completely, playing every position while also serving as umpire, leaving him helpless. **"More Appropriate"** jokes about Santa's transportation, suggesting a "stocking filler" should travel via "hose-cart" rather than sleigh—a crude double entendre. **"Means for Punishment"** presents dark humor: giving slippers as a Christmas gift is portrayed as recklessly dangerous. **"What Pained Him"** uses stereotypical Southern dialect to satirize masculine weakness: a man receives whisky despite promising his wife to abstain, and he's tormented by having to break his word—suggesting men are enslaved by both alcohol and marital promises. **"A Costly Juvenile Test"** depicts parental foolishness: an inexpensive toy destroys an expensive tool, illustrating children's destructive nature and poor parental judgment in gift-giving. The overall tone is cynical about relationships, masculinity, and family life.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Christmas Judge. HER GAME, SHE plays at foot-ball with my heart, Til tell you bo done ; She's half-back, full-back, centre-rusb, The whole rolled into one. And yet I cannot make appeal, I know not what to do; For list, besides the other things She is the umpire too. MC LAND BUREN WitsoN. MORE APPROPRIATE, Hojack—"\ don’t think that Santa Claus should travel in a sleigh.” Hojack—" A stockin ought to come in a hose-c 1. Cc BBAGE —The national flower ‘ of Germany. filler FOR PUNISHMENT. Witiie—** That Bobbie Brown is a reckless feller.” ‘Tosmy—"* What's he done ?” “Gave his mother a pair of slippers for HE IS IN DOUBT. , well!” meditated Santa Claus, as he rubbed his head with his left hand to stim- ulate decision, “Iam in a quandary as to which sort of a vehicle to use this year, a horseless carriage or an air-ship.” oe WHAT PAINED HIM Majo Biupaun- Majah Peppah shedding teabs, suh ?” Majox Biurceass—" Why, sub, he promised his wife he would swear off drinking on New-yeah’s, suh, and somebody jest seat him ten cases of old bourbon whisky foh a Christmas present, suh.”” MAjox BLupcup—"' And he is shedding teahs because he kain't possibly drink it all up by New-yeah’s, | suppose, sub ?” Major’ BLUEGKASS—"" No, suh ; he is shedding teahs to think he must break his promise to his wife, sub. Although it is not ‘his fault, suh, it pains him, as a true southern gentleman, that he must break his wud, sub.” WELL REMEMBERED, meee Dotty—" Yes, my poor uncle is dead at Last. A COSTLY JUVENILE TEST. He was a dear, good, lovely man if thore ever was Faraer Smant (Christmas p. m.)—"' Jeebers Peeters! My new two-dollar- one.” and-a-half axe spiled, an’ all on accaount of that eighty-five-cent indestructible Dorotny—"* Ah! then you have read the toy-waggin thet I told Eben ter go ahed an’ destroy ef he could.” will 7” comicbooks.com