Judge — November 27, 1897 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

uape ONE THANKSGIVING. MRS. GOLIGHTLY always makes her husband go to church on Thanksgiving day, because she says he has so much to make him thankful that he of all men must appear so. This year the church was hot and the sermon, beside be- ing interminably long and dull, con- tained some home-thrusts at his pet vices that made him wince. It was imprudent of his wife to nudge him. Our hero came home sore in mind and cramped in body to find that his young son had been raiding the pantry to the undoing of the feast-day’s dessert and his own small stomach, The father was accord- ingly put through various appro- priate paces. He was sent for the family physician and, as he wasn’t in, for another; to a drug-store back and forth; then up stairs and down stairs, fetching and carrying, before the over-dose of mince-pie had finished its painful course and the shades of night set in. He had an engagement for the afternoon with a lot of jolly club friends, but Phote. by Morrison. JUDGE'S FAVORITES. MAXINE ELLIOTT. Does beauty's high serenity depend On inward calm ? or do emotions lend Fire to the sleeping gem? Whiche’er be true, his wife said t would =a Both aspects brightly alternate in you. >. $0. keep us guessing, salle your secret lies be unfeeling to go < ‘ep in the violet depths of tropic eyes. off while Johnny = was suffering so. He dressed himself at dinner time in a new evening suit that had just come home from the tailor’s. It had cost considerably more than he expected, and suited him no better than a cos- tume ever does a man the first time he wears it. Of course this was the night of nights for his patent-leather ties to pinch his toes. Then his wife said that when she had asked his cousin George's family she supposed the young-men sons would be out of town. “But here they all are. The father and mother and their four children. Six strong. Think of it, dear ; and I find Johnny ate nearly all the mince- pie and cook has spoiled about half of the plum-pudding, letting it burn on the bot- tom. And beside, the market-man never sent us such a small turkey before.” Farser — ‘* Well, old Fussinfeathers, what do you think is going to happen to you now?" Turkey—" Don't ax me.” IT LOOKED BAD, | Rerorter—" You say you lynched that negro last night on general sus- Natt. Kec—" Say, that young Jack Plaine is a pretty smooth picion ?” fellow!” Georcta citizen — "* Eggzacly, suh; his children wuz all down with | PLANK, chicken-pox an’ he couldn't give no sahtisfactory explanation how they caught it, suk” against my grain, and that chum of his, Gim Let, bores me terribly,” HIS POSITION ON THE QUESTION. Tim Tore—" I t'ink it's werry wrong fer a man ter sell licker.” Beery Bummer —‘* W'ot? prohibishunist 2” Tit Tork —" Naw; I simply t'inks it orter be giv? away.” Are yer gittin’ ter be a The entertainment part of the evening seemed to be bewitched as well as the dinner. One of Cousin George's daughters was gifted in recitation and gave selections without end, as pretty girls will, with silly smiling faces and mawkish gestures. When the host and hostess were preparing for bed the former said, “If I had a girl that thought she was an elocutionist I'd chop her up into mince-meat”; an expression no less ex- treme than it was unfortunate, as it brought up the dinner grievance and Mr. Golightly declared he thought of going down on Mulberry street to see if some poor beggar couldn't give a fellow with six thousand a year a bit of something for a Thanksgiving dinner. He finished by saying he had nothing to be thankful for. “Ihave,” said Mrs. Golightly emphatically, You have? Well, I'd like to know what ?” “ That I am not as cross as some people.” VIOLETTE MALL. OVERHEARD IN A CARPENTER-SHOP. Yes, but there is something about him that goes Gist Let—* Yes ; you look board.” comicbooks.com