Judge — November 27, 1897 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

346 FROM UNCLE JASPER’S CORNER. | To Pesgiik Caese rl | wise man toe maik y de luck last. 1 ie | Ef de air-ship am eber a success de watahmillion- patches will hab toe hab roofs, busin’ serv- ants am a mighty good way toe show dat yo'r good man- nabs needs mendin’. Thab often no- ticed dat de quick- es’ way toe spile a good black man is toe ‘point him toe a office. TI doan’ want to know ‘bout de future. Ef de tadpole knowed it war gwine toe be a frog it would bust. LITT HIS LAST WORDS. Tineiess TANK—"' Tell de boys dat I passed away happy, an’ dat de way uv me death wuz sublime.” Waysipe WaLLo} Tineness TAN Run over by a loaded brewery-wagon.” ee A SLIGHT MISTAKE, TRAVELER (on ferry-boat)—"* What hey yew bin doin’, ye durn fool? Yew've shined my valise.” “Til do it, pard ; but how wuz ver hurt?" ANI ny ae eee A TERRIBLE BLOW. Just as J. Turk and family are about to leave for Canada to escape the’annual slaughter of their race Papa Turk picks up a paper and reads that the Canadian government has issued a proclamation calling upon its subjects to observe Thanksgiving-day in the American way. Whad gits me is dat de intelligent white man whad gibs a cullud man five dollahs fo" his vote claims de cullud man is corruptin’ politics. Ef I wanted toe maik dis world mo’ misabler dan it am I'd gib divorces toe all de people whad vinks dey wants ‘em. Den de sorrers would be doubled. Money am de root ob ebil, an’ de rich men say wealth doan’ maik ‘em enny happier; but I notices dat de on'y rich man dat gived all his money away got locked up in a crazy-house. Two men raised wheat. De one dat had de bigges’ crop bragged erbout it so long dat de_rain caught him befo' harvest. De udder got in his grain an’ maid de mos’ money. De time toe knock de persimmons am jes’ when dey ’s ripe. uxces jasrae, LET US HOPE SO. Bighead—" Have you noticed that the trend of the modern novel is to exploit Christianity?” Cynicus—" Yes. I shouldn't be surprised if religion became a fad with society people this winter.” LO Oye ONE EXPLA- NATION, Freddie—* Say, pawhy isa Thanks- giving dinner called a spread?” Cobwigger— “It’s a spread, my boy, because it's so comfortable.” A NATURAL SEQUENCE, Teacher—"You may compare bad, Johnny.” Johnny (who has been reading sensational tales)— MR. BROWN'S POCKET- PISTOLS. “Bad, caught, i * Heavens! that cuts off my usual income, I dare not hanged. £0 near those trousers-pockets now for fear they will go off.” comicbooks.com