Judge, 1897-11-20 · page 10 of 16
Judge — November 20, 1897 — page 10: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several satirical sketches typical of Judge magazine's humor: **"The Tale of an Oyster"** (main story by W.J. Lampton): A humorous narrative about visiting a disreputable Jersey oyster bar. The proprietor, depicted with a stammer, attempts to cook a cat sleeping in a skillet, mistaking it for cookware. The joke relies on the dingy, unsanitary conditions of the establishment and the absurd horror of nearly serving feline instead of oyster. **Secondary cartoons** mock various social types: a barber complaining about slow business in a "foot-ball town"; criticisms of wives' complaints about husbands' physical traits; and a sketch about mining camp proprietors whose poorly-worded signs ("No Drinks Sold to Miners") initially discourage business until reworded. The humor is typically turn-of-century American: focused on class mockery, regional stereotypes (Jersey towns, mining camps), domestic squabbles, and absurdist situations. The satire targets poor establishments, social pretension, and human folly rather than specific political figures.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
330 _ Suage THE TALE OF AN OYSTER. T WAS a dim and darkling place, set close by the sea on a dingy Street, ill lighted by a gasoline lamp sputtering its life out nightly behind a foul {rime of glass. Over the door gleamed out, through the canvas covering of the ghastly thing, letters in red with black shading around their edges. ‘And the words they shone for were, “ Oysters in every style.”” I entered the place with fear and trembling, for it was in a Jersey town, and there are weird eventuations in Jersey towns. The man who ruled the place, standing behind the buttressed counter with a fork in his hand, as if ‘at all times ready to spear the seldom customer, stuttered fearsomely. “ Oysters ?” I said with brevity and a rising inflection. * Yee-e-e-8, sS-S-icr,” he replied stammeringly. * Any styl " Y-e-e-¢-8 a « Fried,” [said authoritatively. He turned to a vessel which I had not until then observed, sitting on an overhanging shelf near the stove, in which a large black cat lay comfortably curled up, fast asleep. ‘The man, with a good-natured leer at me and a wink, prodded the sleeping feline with REPAIR SHO \ HE WAITED. Boss narner—'* Won't you wait, sir? It's your turn next?” Comserctat. saresMan —"' I can't spare the time to wait while those fellows get their hair cut. * Boss BAREK—"" Hut those men are all getting shaved ; you see, sir, this is a foot-ball town.” the fork gently, at the same time grasping the ves- sel by its handle. “S-s-c-c-c-at, J-J-Jim!” he said with some animation, “Git out of the skillet. The gentle- man wants a fry.” But I, feeling in no wise inclined to dispossess the sleeping animal, begged him to desist from dis- turbing it and’stalked forth into the Jersey night once more. W. J. LAMPTON. AND THERE ARE OTHERS. HS wife counts this among her direst woes, That Jenkins can't, or won't, turn out his toes. HAS ADVANTAGES. Bot what, in trath, embittereth her cup Hiker —" What a guy!” 1 pity one with shanks as long as that fellow’s." . Buwex—" He is not beautifal, Ladmit; but none of his friends will be asking to borrow his wheel.” __'* the hard fact that he'll not turn them up. Mar WEBEL Zor unr HINES ZK E, Bh { rT ERS IV PORE RU atay } (\ It LICK ERS | Mia! NES) . | Lill Sy priKs Seed ‘ jj \, ONLY FO | LACKERS il | mo Drinks jSouD To MINORS || MINERS: A MISINTERPRETATION WITH A GRAND RECONCILIATION. New PROPRIETOR (up at the diggings) — “Thar! I guess that sign ‘Il fetch’em. An’ th’ under one ‘Il bring me inside th’ law about thin’, ? Charg es th’ under one brn nuthin’, won't he? Charge, boyecs ! Enraceo Kionpikers—"* Oh, he won't sell us New proprietor —"' Thar! Why didn’t I put th’ blame readin’ that way in th’ first place 2” comicbooks.com {