Judge — November 6, 1897 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Siage A LIVELY PLACE, H-YAH!" remarked the man with the prom- inent chin and foxy eyes. “Yer bet yer life it’s day all day in Klondike. Them people up there ain't no snails, if anybody asks you. The procession kicks off the cover at a mighty early hour, and it don’t take it long to pass a given point either. The band plays quicksteps all the time. Klondike ain’t no lecture-field. It’s‘ How- dy-do? good-bye!'—come in, pay the price, stuffed and gone, room for more. Everything goes but claim-jumping. The only limit is the blue sky.” “ Nobody grows up or gets old there; they are born full-grown and buried with their boots on, When a man goes out in the summer to make a night of it it only takes him about an hour. The wheel whirls and you are rich or busted—drop out and make room for the next man. Turn your back and your claim is jumped; then it belongs to whichever one of you shoots the quickest. The penniless prospector goes out to-day and comes back to-morrow a plutocrat, or goes off into the wilderness inside of a bear, “ Nobody has time to quarrel there. shoot him; if you are to blame shoot him, It’s all in a day, anyhow; and, as I was saying, it’s day all day in Klondike.” USEFUL INFORMATION, Boy—" Gimme ten cents an’ I'll tell yer sumthin’ yer oughter know.” Woman—"* Get away from here, you impudent rascal !" Boy—"tAll right. Yer kin tind out yer house is on fire fer yerself."* If the other man is to blame TOM P. MORGAN. WELL NAMED. [SOLD my bithright—citylife— Once for a mess of pottage And purchased a suburban home, "Twas christened ‘* Oakhurst cottage.” T now have lived a year within ‘That house upon the hill, I think its name appropriate— "Tis *‘oh cursed cottage" still. MCLANDBLRGH WILSON. A POSSIBLE WAY. Teacher—" As there were no printing-presses when God gave the law to Moses, how was it made known to the people ?” Tommy (alter due reflec- tion)" By the deaf-and-dumb alphabet, ma'am.” Farmer Firips — "' Sa-ay ! afore I gin yew a breakfust ye tolt me ye knew all about handlin’ terbacker, an’ naow I find ye don't knaow th’ fust thing.” Huxxy Doxy—" Well, yer see I wuz alludin’ ter handlin’ smokin’ an’ chew- in’ terbacker.” MISPLACED CONFIDENCE, JUST WHEELING MAD. $6] COULD see that she was mad clear through,” said Aunt Samanthy. “ What was she doing when you saw her?” “She was riding her tan- trum alone.” IF. Wwiet famous wits we all would be If we could only say ‘Those brilliant things in repartee We think of the next day, WALTER M, PATRICK. OBEYING ORDERS. Bagley—“ What makes you patronize the woman barber?” Batley—" My wife wants to know all the gossip of the neigh- borhood.” MAKING THE HILLS EASY FOR HER. Mr. Heavyweicut—"* Now, my dear, just tie the end of this cord to your wheel and I'll show you the advantage of a fat husband — —Now we're off I" comicbooks.com