Judge — October 23, 1897 — page 3: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

RED OR WHITE, old Chauncey Millyuns attempted to kiss you on the stairway at the hop last night, and you didn’t know which way to turn?” PexeLore—* No, I didn't know whether he preferred a blushing girl, or one who pales.” A FORTUNATE AFFLICTION. HE ALWAYS hesitates to tell a lie, Or say a word to cause his friends a sigh ; Yet no one praises him for that, you know— A CULPRIT. | STOLE a kiss last night and Bessie said, “That sly propensity you'll yet be grieving. If you do that again,” she hung her head, ; “Tl have you sent to jail for petty thieving.” He cannot help It; for he'stutters s; “+ A kiss like that just stolen,” I replied, “If estimated by its worth to me, Would open up the prison portals wide ; ‘The charge would be, at least, grand larceny!" ROY YARRELL GREENE. THE MAIN CONSIDERATION. Golring ski (getting beaten by a deluded custo- mer)—" Hel-lup ! hel-lup! He's killing me !” His son (dancing madly around)—"' Vatch oud for your gold-rimmed eye-glasses, fadder! Vatch oud for dem !" NOT VERY NEARLY RELATED. New neighbor—" Be them Halls over on the cross-road any connections 0° yourn, Mis’ Hall ?” Mrs. Hall —“ Wa-al, we is jist enuff con- nectid so ‘s't ef anybody dies out er one fambly the other fambly follers arter ter the funeral in the larst kerrige, but don’t stay ter the supper.” THE COMING KINGPIN. Dah's pebbles on de beach jes’ now A heap sight bigger ‘n me, Bat it won't be long befo' I am De w'amest coon you'll see, Fo’ eb'ry dog mus’ hab his day An’ mine is almos’ due ; I'll git mah pleasure out ob it An’ utahlize it too. Oh, dah 's no doubt but dat I'll be ‘De hottest thing in town, ‘An’ hab ‘em all right at mah feet When ‘lection-day comes roun’.” CuoRGe & CRERL, ECONOMY IS WEALTH. Arizona woman (to tramp) — “Then you didn’t cross the desert ?” Battered Bill —“No, mum. 1 went around it. You don’t catch me 7 wasting my sweetness on the desert PROBABLY id gintwa poor dvi ad his head cut offan'hisbedy wastions THE FIRST QUESTION. Silty feet 1° ‘ “THEOSOPHISTS say that evolu- tion is divided into cycles.” “ What make ?” UNCO, Farer WHeAtcrort — “ Wa-al, I'll be darned ef I hain't been buncoed agin, by gosh ! It sez not transferable on this transfer thet thiev- in’ car-conductor jist gin me.” Was he kilt, I dunno 2” Sorra a bit does the paper shtate whether he was comicbooks.com