Judge — October 16, 1897 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

PUBLISHED ONCE A WEEK. TERMS TO SUBSCRIBERS. UNITRD STATES: AND CANADA IN ADVANCE, One copy, one vear. or $2 numbers - $5.00 One copy. six months, or 26 numbers - 2.50 One copy: for thirteen wees == 1.35 Including the Cwrisrmas JUDGE. FOREIGN SUBSCRIPTIONS —To alt Sortien countries im the postal wnian, $6.00 THe JUDGE PUBLISHING COMPANY (Junce BurLING), Corner Fifth Avenue and Sixteenth Street, New York. (W-Circulation larger than any ether cartoon weekly tm the world. (7 NOTICE TO PURLISHERS.—The contents of Juoce are protected by copy- night in both the United States and Great Britain. Infringement of this copyright will be Promptly and vigorously prosecuted. S TOVE-POLISH as a means to suicide will never be popular, we think. [71S HONORABLE to be a partisan. If there were no partisans there would be no republics. MBE: HILL seldom allows himself to be hypnotized and buried without making previous arrangements for hi8 resurrection. THERE 1S ONE place from which Louise Michel will never be expelled, but she will have to die before she succeeds in reaching it. cee FOREIGNERS no longer look for wild animals in the principal streets of New York, but they believe that lynching is one of our chief amuse- ments. HE SILENCE of the Democratic committee of this state on the money question equals the proposition for a funeral with the omission of the corpse. eee Se PEALING firmly with the sul- tan” is a favorite phrase of the European powers; but isn’t the fine old assassin dealing far more firmly with them? HE MANAGERS of the cemeteries of this country have annual con- ventions, and they do say they carry on at those gatherings fit to wake their principal customers. MB. TILLMAN says the average voter is “an eternal fool and a blind ass.” The man is only half right. Has he overlooked the fact that he has one good eye himself? THE ADVENTIST clergyman of Bridgeport who predicted falsely that the end of the world would come on a certain day perhaps referred to the end of his pastorship, which has occurred. Deacon Brown chickens toe bite me. RETRIBUTION is invited by the sultan in his admiration of the woman Chimay; but the two ought to have a sufficiency of self-respect to keep as far away from each other as they possibly can. [7 PAINS ONE to have Aligeld say that many of our best citizens de- spair of the republic; but they needn't kill themselves as long as sev- eral steamers go from this port bound for Europe every day. W E CANNOT believe that the ghost of Anne Boleyn haunts the tower of London. Why should it give itself up to such unprofitable busi- ness, when it needs a large part of eternity to even up things with the king who had her beheaded? THE HEIRS of Anneke Jans having put up ten thousand dollars more, there is that much less chance of their ever possessing the property they claim, They ought to know that no lawyer will ever bring to an end a legal contest with such a large number of fools willing and anxious to be bled for it. A POOR EXCUSE, ETC : Farmer PLUNKetT—" Deacon Brown, what do you mean by wring- ing the heads off my chickens in this manner?” —" Well, Mistah Plunkett, I doan’ allow no man’s THOSE UNEASY HEADS. HE MARRIAGE of the heir presumptive to the Austrian throne to a commoner, formerly the housekeeper of Herr Krupp, will perhaps be happier than that of the Crown-prince Rudolph to Stephanie. The suicide of the latter and that of a notorious woman are not forgotten; and the suicide of Franz Ferdinand will probably be postponed for a considerable period. THE SUMMARY METHOD. ‘THE BLACK OFFICE-HOLDER in Georgia doesn’t lose his head at the-hands of the administration. His subordinates resign, and in due season he is interviewed by leading citizens, who get in his rear and shoot him in the back. There are persons who think that the southern politician must lose the self-respect which makes him resign before he becomes such a coward as that. OFFICIAL TYRANNY. THE SOLDIER and the employé who obey orders regardless of per- sons and circumstance are not fit for responsible positions. A rea- sonable amount of elasticity in the translation of orders is perfectly safe in time of peace. The president and the vice-president of these states, who have suffered from the upbraiding of these martinets, are entitled to some slight consideration regardless of any orders of the iron-bound kind. THE REAL SUFFERER. THE LYNCHING of five burglars in Indiana was unpardonable; but the amount of suffering and apprehension caused by burglars is very large, and they have recently added to their crimes the villainy of beating and torturing women. If they were the only ones to suffer there would be no objection to their sacrifice; but lynching comes back upon the decent citizen in the lack of legal protection caused by contempt for law. THE DIVINE RIGHT. It IS RATHER modest in the kaiser to admit that he and his family predecessors were appointed by the Lord, because it would be easy for. him to claim that the appointing was on the other side, But his modesty stops right there. He is subject, he says, to the control of no parliament and no man, and his heart is “the heart of the father of his country.” Won- derful man! He shall have a revolu- tion some day and he can call it all his own. RECONSTRUCTING THE UNIVERSE. THERE IS A FAIR WOMAN, healthy and happy, who insists that marriage shall be regulated solely by law, and that men and women who are not healthy and hearty shall be prohibited the privilege, while all incapables shall be killed. She proposes too much. While things might have been better if she had assisted ar the creation, the purposes of the Almighty in producing poor as well as excellent humanity are not to be crushed out by any theoretical person, however inhumane he or she may be. THE UNBRIDLED TONGUE. A SPECIM of the malicious judgment which attaches itself to radical temperance persons is found in the declaration of Miss Clara Hoff- man, president of the Missouri women’s temperance union, that “to-day the liquor traffic of the United States finds its most influential friends in the Christian churches and colleges of this country. These churches and colleges give tone and prestige to this crime of crimes.” Is there a greater crime of crimes than such a falsehood as that? It is so untrue that it would be absurd to deny it. MUST THE PARTISAN SURRENDER? LET US NOT get up so much enthusiasm for the word “non-partisan” that we shall presently be ashamed of the Republican party, To be without partisan force and organization and ideas is to be largely a non- descript; and the Republican party hzs done too much good to be shoved aside for any body of men who believe in nothing and nobody but their distinguished selves. And the politics of this great town is closely con- nected with the politics at Albany and at Washington, and indeed with that of every local and general government in the world. comicbooks.com