Judge — October 16, 1897 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

TOO MUCH OF IT, THE city of P- . a few nights ago, a wo- man in charge of one of the city homes for friend- less girls, a woman of deeds, not words, received the following communication : “ Dear sister in Christ—Please give the bear- er your motherly care and shelter. You will find this girl most wonderfully saved and completely filled with the spirit. Yours in Christ, “Mrs, After reading through the gushing epistle the matron went down to the reception-room of the home and found—not to her great surprise— that the girl was utterly worthless and too intox- icated to speak distinctly. Her reply to the note was brief and to the point: “ Dear Mrs. . _Lfind this wonderfully- saved girl too completely filled with the spirit to suit me, and return her with thanks. “ Sincerely, HIS DISAPPOINTMENT. McLubberty—“ Oi hov a crow to pick wid yez. Phwat d'yez mane by tellin’ iverybody thot Oi hod fallen heir to a t'ousand dollars ?” O'Hoggarty —* Whoy, Oi heard the same, an’ s’posed ‘twas true.” MecLubberty —* "Twas not! Ut was Duffy ~ thot hod the money laved to him.” O'Hoggarty —" Shure, Oi must hov got the names mixed, Wull, no har-rer-rm was done, an’ "—— \ MecLubberty —" No har-r-r-rm, is ut? Be- | gorra, knowin’ yez fer a trut’ful man, Oi belaved the report mesilf whin Oi was told thot it came | from you, an’ now look at me disappointmint "| | | | HA Benitast —"* Oh, 1 don't know ; there's your mother. MODERNIZED. eH URRY and clean up before dinner, Henry!" urged Mrs, Wheeler. Now, twenty years. ago a husband so ad: dressed would have washed his face and brushed his hair, but Henry Wheeler didn’t. He rushed out into the twilight and cleaned his wheel, NOT SO. oe HAT the deuce,” asked Mr. Proons, savagely hacking the steak, “did that fellow mean when he said all flesh is weak ?” much, but there goes me tools as well !" Sage FD mp A 3 McGinty (as he loses his balance)—"* I don't moind th’ wettin’ so A CONJECTURE. Mrs, HARDSCRABBLE (reading) —"* Only to think, Josiah! Hall Caine gets fifty thousand dollars for his new book, ‘ The Christian,’ exclusive of royalties.” Dracon HarpscranuLe—" Oh, well ; fifty thousand dollars is about all will get out of it. I don't believe the royalties will buy sech a book as that much.” JUST SO. Young dude (to tailor)—“ Is there anything new in trousers ?” Tailor (facetiously)—" Oh, yes ; the new woman.” 1 LACED HER SHOE. RONDEAU. I LACED her shoe—now who could answer nay : That heard a winsome lassie shyly pray A boon so tiny ?- Who behold distress Just barely peeping from beneath a dress And fail to kneel, in cavalierly way, So small a tribute to a queen to pay ? Or who refute me when I rise to say Its mate was just as cute? I know, ah yes— T laced her shoe. Alack, now! shall I execrate the play Of laces tied with art enough to stay A moment only? Ah, I fear I'll bless— I fear that even had I tied it less T'd tied to hers a bachelor heart, the day T laced her shoe. PHILIP VERRILL MiGHRS. DEAR LITTLE FISHES. Mr, Hojack—" My dear, why do you allude to those twins as sardines ?” Mrs. Hojack —" They are children of Mr. and Mrs. Herring.” IT CAME IN USEFUL, Fuirrers (the cod)—"' Say, old man, this is just what we've been wanting a long time.” comicbooks.con es ame