Judge — October 2, 1897 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

PUBLISHED ONCE A WEEK. TERMS TO SUBSCRIBERS. UNITED STATES AND CANADA IN ADVANCE, One copy, one year. or sx numbers - $5.0 ‘One copy, six months. oF 26 One copy. for thirteen Including the Ci FOKKIGN. SUBSCRIPTIONS —Te alt Soreign countries im the postal wmion, $0.00 wets a wear. THE JUDGE PUBLISHING COMPANY (Junce BuILDING). Corner Fifth Avenue and Sixteenth Street, New York. (Circulation larger than any other cartoom weekly in the world. "7 NOTICE TO PURLISHERS.—The contents of Jupce are protected by copy- ‘Anght in both the United States and Great Britain, Infringement of this copyright will be Promptly and vigorously prosecuted. Brown UNIVERSITY to E. Benjamin Andrews—‘Come back and all will be forgiven.” [F JAPAN ever captures the Nicaragua canal it will be over the bloody corse of Warner Miller. MB: DEBS says he has a profound affection for peace, and immediately adds, taking off his coat, that he is going to fight for it. ns BY THE MAD MULLAH of Brooklyn—" Worth makes the man and want of it the fellah; the rest is all Tom Platt and mere pru- nella.” THEY TELL of women who are habitual cologne-drinkers. Per- haps the poor things are not aware that cologne is intended solely for outward application. HEN AN ANARCHIST abroad kills somebody the anarchists of this town get together d say one to another, “What courageous fellows we are.” THE FACT that the Nevada sen- ators ought to have repudiat- ed the silver business is evidence enough that, reports to the contrary notwithstanding, they never did it. THE PARISIANS appear to think that the czar is going to give them the freedom of Alsace- Lorraine in a gold box; but it is impossible for his majesty to be up to that kind of snuff. PRESIDENT FAURE remarked nervously, when the noise of the bomb mingled with the cheers with which he was received on his return from Russia, “I say, don’t be so deucedly enthusiastic.” rd A SOUTHERN PAPER says John Brown was a convicted traitor, Let us gently suggest that a good many of our southern friends differed from the old man some years ago merely in the fact that they were not convicted. eee HE EXPERIMENT of female deputy sheriffs in Colorado works curiously, One deputy went into a high mountain after outlaws, and captured their chief; but she couldn't bring him in and therefore finally married him, THE EDITOR of the Brooklyn ag/e puts the new woman in bloomers and then, oddly enough, calls her a rowdy in petticoats. One ought to know the difference between breeches and skirts if one is going to dis- cuss such a subject as that. [§ CONGRATULATING the people on the return of prosperity, ac- cording to the editor of the Cincinnati Engutrer, President McKinley gloats over the distress of millions in Europe. Nobody else had thought of that, we feel sure. Why! the president ought to be impeached. i yi Ub | tah — DIDN'T INCLUDE HIM. CHOLLY (tenderly)—""And so you really love me? I always thought you were a man-hater.”” Ernei—" 1 am,” THE ONLY REMEDY. HE GOVERNMENTS of Europe will do well to sequestrate anarch- ists on some small island, as proposed. The scoundrels couldn't get along without some kind of government, and they would shoot the leaders of it one after another until there was nobody left to shoot the last man, A UNION FOR SOUND MONEY. HE SILVER MEN and the other cranks have run away with the Democratic party. Gold Democrats can do no better than vote with Republicans on the money question, as they did to a large extent last November. It's a poor rule that doesn’t work both ways, however; and there are circumstances under which Republicans can vote the ticket of the gold Democrats, as is the case in Kentucky. THE ASS IN THE TIGER’S SKIN. ¢¢LJIDE YOUR PRINCIPLES till after election,” says the astute lead- er of Tammany hall to the Democrats of greater New York, “and then if you win you can present them with some sort of safety.” The advice is given on the assumption that the voters of the greater town are not acquainted with the bunco business and have an abiding confidence in silver bricks. WILLIE. THE STORY GOES that the emperor slapped the face of a seaman and the seaman struck back and blacked the imperial eye, and that thereupon the seaman drowned himself. Let us hope the story is untrue. The loss of a good sea- man is a serious thing. But the theory that the black eye came from a rope’s end is certainly unfortu- nate, because that ought naturally to have been applied to the imperial back. I, ih ‘4 | STICKERS. LONDON has a crusade against hat-pins, It is urged that they are dangerous as they are ordinarily used; and we all know that as a weapon in the hands of a deter- mined woman they have frequent- ly mutilated and sometimes killed. What are they, however, in com- parison with the ordinary pin about a dozen of which are worn about the waist, for no legitimate purpose that any man has ever been able to discover? THE CRIME OF WEALTH. M*- TILLMAN is such a hater of wealth that he cannot refer to it without profanity. He says Whitney, Flower and other rich Democrats are dirty boodlers. He thinks likewise that they are aristocrats and bosses; and recently a large gathering addressed by him loudly indorsed the remark by one of their number that they were dirty dogs. It is but a step from this malicious envy to the idiocy of anarchy; and what a singular combination of igno- rance and conceit it is! A COMPLIMENTARY KICK. THE FIGHTING of the silver and the gold Democrats in Pennsylvania is of not the slightest consequence, and the victory of the former is equally unimportant. They have nothing to lose, and the triumph of Bryanism and the Chicago platform is merely a proclamation of a con- tinuance of the most astounding of all foolishness. The kick which sends Mr. Harrity out of the party is a compliment, and instead of whining he ought to invite his former friends to kick him again. THE COMMON ADVERSARY. BOUT THE TIME that the camp-meeting at Old Orchard claimed to be engaged in the work of casting out devils there was a wild out- burst of negro religious frenzy in Mountville, South Carolina, over the alleged capture of the original and only complete devil. It was proposed to bury his supposititious majesty, and it was thought that immediately thereafter the judgment would arrive. But we can’t see that there is any improvement in any situation, any more than there has been during the long period which has been largely given up to the annihilation of the dia- bolical wretch. And does not the sultan still live? comicbooks.com