Judge — September 25, 1897 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

iage. PUBLISHED ONCE A WEEK. TERMS TO SUBSCRIBERS. UNITED STATES AND CANADA IN ADVANCE. One copy, one year, or s2 numbers » $5.0 One copy, six Including the Cumistmas Juocs. FORBIGN SUBSCRIPTIONS —To alt Sorcien countries in the postal union, $6:00 ‘a year. THE JUDGE PUBLISHING COMPANY (JupGE BurLnins). Corner Fifth Avenue and Sixteenth Street. New York. (MT Circulation larger than any other cartoom weekly im the world 7 NOTICE TO PUBLISHERS.—The contents of Juoce are protected by copy- Anght in both the United States and Great Britain, Infringement of this copyright will be promptly and vigorously prosecuted. A NEW CURE for snake-bites reminds us that there are too many new notions in this country. SHE IS THE WISE VIRGIN who, ri ing a bicycle at night, keeps her lamp trimmed and burning. KAIULANI has the blood of kings in her veins, but the existing condi- tion of things in Hawaii won't allow the blood to tell. ET US BE JUST. If the St. Louis bigamist who has ten wives had lived in Chicago he would have usurped the entire female population. eee YOU READ many of the enter- prising dailies of this country, just now, mainly for the purpose of learning which men and women won the bicycles. HE LAST PICTURE of Hall Caine makes the man look so melancboly that one suspects him not only of writing his last book, but of actually reading it. SPEAKING OF MISTAKES of authors, a very competent critic, writing for the Chicago Times-Her- ald, unthinkingly says of Ouida, “She perhaps unthoughtedly lays herself liable,” etc. 66NJO BACHELOR candidates for office!” shrieks Mrs. Charlotte Smith. Why not make the prize for matrimony larger? who marries? Don't move, mum. smashin’ yer bonnit.”” Why not give an office to every man #4] T 1S SO dreadful,” writes an English woman, “for the men to put themselves up for sale to rich American girls." Many a rich Amer- ican girl can testify to her sorrow that that is true. WE DIDN'T suppose there were any silver Republicans; but they have them in Ohio and they have joined the silver Democrats. Peo- ple used to doubt the existence of white blackbirds. WE ARE TOLD by the Nashville Amerscan that the ideally beautiful woman is born in Tennessee, Well, now, that isn’t her fault; and doesn’t she get away from there as soon as she can? THE LAST BOMB fixed for Faure reminds one of the gun that always “hung fire.” Its owner pulled the trigger just before going to bed, and it went off just in time to shoot him awake in the morning. THEY HAD a dynamite explosion across the border {rom Buffalo the other day, and immediately the Buffalo papers claimed a local earth- quake. That is the cleatest case of stealing thunder we ever heard of. SOME WOMEN of a New Jersey church painted with their own fair hands the fence surrounding that establishment. They did it to shame their lazy husbands; but the men mean enough to permit that sort of thing are not susceptible to any emotion of that kind. And besides it was a shockingly bad job. AFTER THE CIRCUS LEFT TOWN, I want ter see if I kin jump on yer head widout A SHOCKING REVOLT. WILHELMINA, the young girl who will presently be quéen of Hol- land, refuses to marry the prince her mother picked out for her and insists on choosing her own time for marrying and likewise the man who is to be her husband. That is sheer rebellion, No prospective queen and no real queen has any right to such privileges. They are reserved solely for the young sovereigns of the world who have nothing to do with affairs of state, A WAR ON WOMEN. WEYLER SAID some time ago that the case against Evangelina Cis- noras was in its preliminary stages. At that time the young lady had been in jail eleven months, the companion of vicious women, half starved, and subject to the utmost degradation. There is enough in these facts to warrant the interference of every government and every man and woman having respect for common decency. outrages are not war, Assassination and worse LET US WEEP. IS PAINFUL to read in the Evening Post day after day that the people of Europe look with unutterable scorn upon everything the people of this country do, themselves or through their representatives, and with effusive affection upon .everything they unhappily omit; and the more so because the only possible remedy is the impossible one of imme- diately dying in the vain hope of getting themselves born again in some of the many European styles all of which are the only orthodox things. It A SERIOUS MISTAKE. i THE LYNCHING of two Italians “TT in St. Charles parish, near New " Orleans, two years ago, for the murder of an old man, cost the general government several thou- sand dollars by way of indemnity to Italy; and now an old negro confesses and proves that he was the murderer and the Italians had nothing to do with the crime. The doctrine of an eye for an eye would make it necessary to hang the lynch- ers; but perhaps the matter may be compromised by bringing the inno- cent Italians to life. THE FIENDISH CHILD. Some PAPERS are trying to have fun over the fact that a little girl of this town tried to com- mit suicide because she had to take care of the baby of the family she lived with. Have the editors of these papers ever had the care of a baby for thirty minutes? Would they like to have it again? Wouldn't they rather be sentenced to thirty days in the penitentiary? Is there anything more like ‘perpetual motion than a baby? Is there anything half as unreasonable, persistent, exasperating, noisy and disagreeable? Oh, no—there is no fun in this thing. It is tragedy. ‘MONOPOLY IN THE CHURCH. THE CHOIR of a Babylon, Long Island, church refused to sing because the congregation insisted on joining in the exercises. This produces a new question, It is proper to pay a clergyman for doing the religion, in the way of prayer and preaching, of several hundred persons. It was once argued that congregational singing only was proper in a church, the oppo- site of the question being something of an absurdity, as if one were to hire one’s servant to do his eating and his praying for him. But surely neither the choir nor the preacher ought to monopolize the worshiping as a public or a private right. ELEVATING BOSTON POLITICS. Mayor QUINCY of Boston refused to shake hands with Pugilist Sullivan, and therefore Mr. Sullivan put himself up as a candidate for mayor against Mr. Quincy; so that a fight will be pulled—if that is the correct term—notwithstanding the omission of the usual preliminary politeness. And the pugilist’s platform is not bad—not half as bad as the famous one at Chicago. “Find places for children to play in,” says Mr, Sullivan; “the way to keep women out of trouble is not to drive them into it—give them work and fair wages ;" “treat the poor right—give the under dog a chance;” and finally, “scare the thieves.” Really, if, Mr. Sullivan might be induced tv govern himself he might make a first-rate ruler of Boston. comicbooks.com