Judge — September 18, 1897 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

MR. MCGARVEY TELLS A STORY. ERE'S a shtory Oi'll be after tillin’ yez av th’ Mur- phys thot proves th’ truth av some things thot ain't so. "Twor this way : Tim come home one noight wid a woild look in his oyes, for he'd been hearin’ shtories av Mamie thot he wouldn't lishten to at all, an’ he shlammed things about th’ house in a quoiet way thot give th’ girl t’ undershtand thot somethin’ wor up widout breakin’ anything. Suddenly, whoile he wor atin’ supper, he shpoke in a supprissed but very loud voice. “ What's this Oi'm after hearin’ about yez?” says he. “ What's thot, Tim ?” “ Oi'm towld yez do be goin’ t’ visit an artisht divil,” said he; an’ thin his great tinder heart broke t’ paices an’ flowed in shtraims from his oyes. “Oi'm towld,” he wint on, “thot yez hov been visitin’ a man in his shtudio widout raison, an’ thot yez hov taken th’ WARDING OFF JEALOUSY. Ot Gorkoxs (savagely) — “* What's that !_ you mean to tell me that you love my daughter for herself alone 2° VYouna Haxpurp (tremulously) —** Y-yes, sir—but I think T could I-learn to Ielove you t-too, sir—in tet-time, sir." happiness av yer home wid yez, an’ shcattered it loike ashes on th’ pavemint. Ah, me girl, don't yez know thot th’ happinisg thot is sheattered thus will take root an’ raise a wilderniss about yez ?” Mamie looked at him for a minute wie her shwait blue oyes, an’ thin she wint t’ th’ little tin box where she kept her treasures an’ took somethin’ out. Tim sat wid his head on th’ table, THE ACROBATIC TROMBONE-PLAYER. The correct and only way to make a decided hit in this athletic nineteenth century. Suge takes his revenge by adapting a popular song to the moment. nt (DEO iil! a sn ly A PRECOCIOUS RETORT. The little boy has been chased away from the door and reprimanded ; he shtricken wid graif, Whin she shpoke to him he looked up. handed him a card. He looked at it an’ his oyes broightened. “ Little Dinnie !” he exclaimed. “Shure,” said she; “Oi hod it taken for a surproise ¢° yez, but yez surproised me firsht. Th’ broight look in his oyes got more so, an’ foinally got thot broight thot he wint an’ put his arms about her an’ kishe¢“her on th’ mouth, “ Oi'm a fool, darlin’,” says he. “ Th’ roight koind,” says she. She DAVID M, TALMADGE, A BIG DIFFERENCE, Gummey —" What is the difference between an ordinary foreign correspondent and a special journalistic commissioner ?” Glanders — An ordinary correspondent gives the news in brief language, while a commissioner begins with, ‘I am able to state posi- tively,’ or ‘1 am authorized to say,’ and then doesn’t tell much.” AN UNPARDONABLE SIN, . “HANDS up !" commanded the leader of the mob. The scene was on Chicago's most crowded street, and as the victim tremblingly obeyed the leader said to another man, “ You stand guard, Bill, while I help the boys hunt up some feathers. ‘The rail and. barrel of tar lying near in dicated the victim's fate. “ Whatis the matter?” asked a bystander. “ Matter? Matter enough!” answered an excited citizen, “ That man is the inventor of anti-fat. The villain is trying to reduce the population.” THE ENFANT TERRIBLE. 66 A LL is over between us !” she cried, But quick she discovered her blunder ; A giggle beneath the settee Soon showed there was still something comicbooks.com