Judge, 1897-09-11 · page 3 of 16
Judge — September 11, 1897 — page 3: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Analysis of Judge Magazine Page 163 This page contains three distinct pieces of humor: 1. **"Silent Eloquence"** (left): A narrative sketch about a drunk named Coogan who comes home late. His wife communicates her disapproval entirely through silent gestures and facial expressions rather than words—the "eloquence" being her powerful non-verbal communication of anger. 2. **"A Public Benefaction"** (bottom left): A social satire about Mrs. Smithkins making a charitable donation to a town library, explicitly so she can oversee the account and control how her money is used—suggesting patronizing or self-interested charity masked as generosity. 3. **"A Fellow Feeling"** and **"Wayside Wally"** (right): Brief comedic dialogues about shared human experiences and casual street encounters, depicting working-class or lower-class characters in humorous situations. The page emphasizes domestic comedy and social observation rather than overt political satire.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
DISAPPOINTED SUITOR (savagely)—"* What's that, you little imp? You say you just overheard your sister tell me she would be a sister to me, and that you are glad of it?” SMALL BROTHER (meckly)—"* Yeth, thir—mithery loves company, thir.” SILENT ELOQUENCE: Oi troied t' git him home, but he wouldn't hov it. Thin Oi took howld av him, an’ he shpit OME av th genet Vinge do be uttered in gol 2 bad name from his tongue an’ give me a ump in th’ nick, an’ iveryt'ing Oi said Oi couldn't NS) ie hear mesilf. _ ey ae seine Ch uA : Oi wint moy way, an’ Googan shtayed out till a payler took him in. Oneincight Ol-saw Googan roarin! drunk aa "Twor th’ ae nae Oi shtopped in t’ see Melly an’ th’ kid whoile Oi wor hurryin’ t me work, an’ she wor bindin’ over th’ little bid in th’ corner loike a shwait rainbow, an’ says Oi," What's up?” An’ says she, “ Little Pat 's dithly sick.” “ Did yez hov a doctor ?” says Oi. “Oi didn’t,” says she, “for Oi hod no one t’ sind.” “ Yer man’s a—a cuss,” says Oi. She looked at me wid thim blue oyes an’ reploied niver a word. Shure, it took me a long toime t’ git a doctor, but Oi hod him there loike a brick from th’ top av a skoy-shcraper, an’ he looked at th’ kid an’ says he, ““Oi'm afraid he's goin’ t’ break away from yez.” A sort ava whishtlin’ sound come from th’ poor girl's lips, but ‘twor drownded wid th’ squaike in’ av th’ door as Googan intered lookin’ rid an’ black about th’ oyes. He saw somethin’ wor wrong before he'd a chance t' look at any- ing at all, an’ before he could git his tick tongue shtarted Molly t'rew her airms about his nick an’ her tears shtream- ed on his shoulder. Thin in a whiff she wor back t’ th’ bid, where th’ doctor wor shtand- in’ buttonin’ his coat. “Tis all over,” says he; yezshould have called me lasht noight.” An’ wid thot he wint out. Googan shtood waivin’ back an’ forth an‘ movin’ his lips. Whin he shpoke ‘twor little thot he said, but it wor true. “Lasht_ noight — ATE USLIC BENEFACTOR little Pat—darlint—'tis Mr, SMITHKINS (drawing up his will)—"' To the Poke- blunderin’ divil ville home for incurables I leave and bequeath the sum of ten 2 Dlunderin’ divil av a thousand dollars ; to the Pokeville orphan asylum, forty thou. fool an’ a brute Oiam.” sand dollars ; to'the Pokeville Baptist church, five thousand ‘An’ Molly looked dollars ; to start a town library in the town of Pokeville, ten : teases thousand dollars ; to the ”— at, his /slrwellin jt roat __, MRS. SMITHKINS —'* Goodness me ! are you crazy? You an’ shakin’ shoulders ain't worth ten cents, and you know it.”” vi Mn. Surrieins—" Oh, shut up and lemme alone! I'm “4 ache oar droy going to take this will round to the president of the Pokeville 29" glaimin’ wid graif. national bank and have him witness it. I've got to overdraw But she wor soilent. my account there for twenty-seven dollars next week.” A RENEGADE'S TRAP. Waysipg WALLY (in angry distress) —“' Ef 1 hed hold uv der hobo w'ot marked de ‘ kind lady” an’ ‘no dorg’ sign on dat feace I’ DAVID M. TALMADGE. massacree ‘im.” comicbooks.com)